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My daughter is in kindergarten and I feel like she may have a learning disability. I spoke with the school counselor and asked about the kind of services  he offered and he asked me if I had a meeting with my daughter's teacher yet. I informed him that we didn't have the chance to have a meeting in person, but we have talked on the phone several times about my daughter's progress. I explained my concerns with the counselor and he said that it would be best to have the meeting with my child's teacher and then we could go from there. Since then I have had the chance to speak with my daughter's teacher in person.

I have no problem with my daughter getting counseling, but here's the thing. I asked my daughter if the counselor has talked to her yet, just to see because I was feeling uneasy about him and she told me that he has already talked to her by herself without informing me of the meeting with her. I have a problem with my child being pulled out of her classroom to go talk to a grown man by herself without a female adult being around and without being informed about it. I'm going up to the school tomorrow to talk to the principal about the procedures as far as the way the students are counseled. I decided to look him up again on the school's website and in his bio on the site he said that he likes what he does and that he likes to be a special friend to the students and that creeped me out a bit by him saying it in that way.

I discussed my concerns with her dad and he told me that he had a funny feeling when he saw the counselor in person. Let me just say that we are not paranoid people, nor do we go around making accusations towards anyone, but I think the fact that he has talked to her twice by herself without telling us about it makes me uncomfortable because a female should be present. He said that after I have the meeting with her teacher that we could go from there, but he never said that he was going to start having sessions with her and by herself.

What is the best way for me to talk to the principal about my concerns?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:34 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Ask your daughter how she feels around him. If she feels awkward around him that's a pretty good indicator that your instincts were right. I agree with not wanting her alone with a male counselor but was it behind closed doors, or in the guidance office with the door open? I think the latter would be acceptable. But if your daughter feels uncomfortable I would bring it up to that principal that way. Tell him your daughter has expressed discomfort at being alone with him and would prefer her teacher or another female teacher be present. Last I checked, schools were supposed to have both a male and female counselor. Or maybe that was just highschool, I'm not sure, but I know we had one of each.

    Answer by MamaStuart at 3:57 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • well i don`t know but not every teacher has a assistant teacher and schools do have male teachers so i would think school would have done a background check on everyone teaching...i guess go with your gut and tell the school you are not ok with it if you are concerned

    Answer by mollysmom212 at 2:51 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I don't mind the fact that there are male teachers, I have a problem with not being told that he has already started the sessions without my knowledge of how the procedures go. It's not okay for my child to be in a room with a grown man all by herself regardless of the fact that he is a school counselor.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:05 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Would you feel this way if it was a male student and a woman counselor?
    This counselor should immediately evaluate his involvement with your family. Male counselors and teachers are open targets and some deserve that but others need to protect themselves from false accusations and insinuations. I think you shoud probably take your child to a private female counselor and have her evaluated. This would relieve you of any worries and put you in charge.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:05 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I might tend to agree with your concern about not being notified, but IMHO, you're acting paranoid about the male counselor needing a female to be in the room with him while he speaks with your daughter.
    If you had a son, would you have the same concerns? Male on male molestation happens all the time too.

    Children feed off their parents, so if she knows you're freaked out by it, she will be too and you're teaching her to be mis-trusting.

    Maybe it's just me, but I refuse to go through life assuming everyone has ill intentions.

    EVERYONE who works at the school has to be fingerprinted and their prints run through the Department of Justice. You have to learn to trust a little more. You're treating this man like he's guilty before proven innocent. JMHO

    Answer by 5150mama at 5:10 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • 5150mama, actually, I'm not freaking my daughter out because I asked her simple questions about her session. I'm not going around falsely accusing him of anything and I would really like for my post to be thoroughly read before assumptions are made. If you think that I'm paranoid then that's your opinion, but I don't want my 5 year old daughter in a room by herself with a male counselor. I am a trusting person, but with all the stuff that goes on today we as parents have to take precautions.

    Tootoobusy, yes, if I had a son and he was seeing a femalem counselor, I would want him to have a male adult with him as well.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:13 AM on Feb. 24, 2011