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5 Bumps

What do you do when your child talks back to you?

I just want to say what I need done and no back talk but for some reason they do or they'll try to negotiate with me.
How do you handle this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (13)
  • he doesnt. or if he does i hardly notice..maybe i'm just very patient and it doesnt bother me???

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:47 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • i treat my son as a person. of course kids are going to ask "why" and "do i have to'..etc..its human nature..wanting to know why. getting upset about it would be unfair i would be being a "bully parent"

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:49 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • they don't.
    by the time they are 9 this issue should have been dealt with, but this age also brings new adjustments with parenting.
    Like shay, I also treat my kids as people first and work hard at not being a controlling parent.

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:56 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • They lose 10 minutes of bedtime. I'm the parent and they don't need to know why they have to take out the trash, it's their responsibility and they need to do it. If I asked them to do something, then of course they have to do it. My kids rarely do it because they know there will be a consequence. If they have an honest question then of course I answer it without taking away time, but if it's straight out backtalk - you bet they get time taken off of bedtime! 10 minutes each time.

    Answer by missanc at 9:06 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • my oldest is 4 so i havent really had to deal with back-sass. once in a while she will tell me no if i ask her to do something and then there are consequences for her decision. like if i ask her to clean up her mess before we go to the playground & she says no, then we dont go to the playground. if she wants to throw a fit over it thats fine but now were definitely not going. i guess my method is taking whatever it is they want away so they know that type of behavior is not how you get what you want.

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:14 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My boys don't talk back most of the time but sometimes mny 9 year old will give me attitude about something and that is when I tell him that is not  and will not be tolerated and is very disrespectful to their Father and I and also he gets privileges taken away and if he continues then it is that much longer before he gets his privileges back.  We don't take any disrespect from our boys.


    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 10:03 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • i first tell them to stop. if it continues then i proceed to take away privileges.

    Answer by WildCat73 at 1:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I guess it depends on what you consider back talk. My husband feels that if they question or bitch about why they are asked to do something that's back talk, I disagree I think my child is voicing an opinion/question that warrants an intelligent answer. My husband is constantly butting heads, getting annoyed and frustrated and they always argue with him, why because he allows it and he lets the minor question of why become a control issue. Me on the other hand, if I say can you vacuumed and my son doesn't answer, I say "When are you going to vacuum like I asked?" the responses range but usually its "After a commercial, when I'm done with this video game." So I wait and when that commerical comes on or that video game is over, I say "You told me you would vacuum now" my kids get up and do what they committed to. They are more responsive to other requests out of the norm, if I say please help me with this. ...

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:59 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • they are quick to put on shoes and run to help unload groceries if I need them to, wash dishes, vacuum, take out the trash. They do get lazy sometimes or tired and like to attempt to argue when they don't want to do something, even after I've negotiated and simply remind them firmly. You told me you would do it when ____(fill in the blank)___, I gave you the free time and now you can do this like I asked. They may not like it but they will do it and not say another word about it. My older son doesn't argue at all now - he's 16. I'm working on the 12 yr old - because he's at that age where they argue about everything...its pretty easy for me...I tell him I'm not going to argue with you, I asked you and now I'm telling you to do what you were asked. It is very rare we have arguments in my house, but it wasn't until I stopped trying to control when they did something. The more I respected their time, the more they do for me

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:04 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My kids do not talk back. I guess its all in the way my husband and I parent. We explain why I need something done or we'll talk it through but when I say clean up your room, theres no back talk or sass coming from anyone...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:42 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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