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10 Bumps

Why can't people just be greatful for the children they have?

My cousin got married almost 6 years ago and since then, he and his wife have had 4 children and she is pregnant again. The thing is THEY ARE ALL GIRLS, including the one she is pregnant with. They want a boy so bad it is sick. They got married after she got pregnant and didn't talk about the pregnancy until after they got married, by that time, they knew it was a girl so we didn't really hear them say that they wanted a boy. With the second girl, the whole pregnancy, they were talking about how it was gonna be a boy and SURPRISE, it was a girl. With the third, they were even telling the oldest that she was getting a brother and would snap at anyone who dared say "what if it's a girl" and the fourth one she hardly even talked about her pregnancy after finding out that it was yet another girl. We just found out that the one she is pregnant with is a girl and I can only imagine how that is gonna go. Why even have children if you are gonna be upset about what the gender is? They have 4 healthy, happy little girls and one on the way, I would feel so blessed to have as much. The other thing is they can't really afford 5 children but they keep having them because they want a boy. She smokes through her pregnancy and doesn't take care of the children she already has, who are always being cared for by other people. I think one of the things that pisses me off the most is her girls never have anything nice to wear unless they are with my aunt (their grandma) but she always has nice things on and they have money for cigarettes and tattoos. These girls get hand me downs from other people and she doesn't take care of their clothes so by the time they have made it to the second or third girl, they are little more then rags. They are always dirty and it breaks my heart because they are all such sweet girls (the youngest is 5 months old). Me and my fiance' are getting married next month and are gonna start trying for one ( I have a 4 year old) and we told my cousin and his wife and they said "what do you want?" and I said "properly functioning organs, because so many parents don't even get that". I was hoping that saying that would put things in perspective for her but I guess not.

Answer Question
 
JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 10:12 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (51)
  • Who are you to judge the desires of other people?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • its their life, not yours. you're complaining about them isn't going to add one thing to the enjoyment of your own life. be grateful for what YOU have, and don't worry about someone else.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 10:14 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • As a Mom to 5, I find this offensive.
    Iluvmy5

    Answer by Iluvmy5 at 10:15 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • well, they suck at life obviously. but they are not going to change, so, no point in worrying about it.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 10:16 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I am some who is sick of seeing these beautiful girls go without things they need because their parents have some sick need to have a boy. It is one thing to prefer one gender over another but when you neglect your children because they aren't the gender you want that is just wrong.
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:16 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I think she is very concerned that this 'person' is smoking with pregnancy and children. That is a BIG concern for me. She's allowed to vent like any other person.
    BeachMommy07

    Answer by BeachMommy07 at 10:17 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I get where your coming from,, I suffered 3 miscarriages and had a daughter who died at birth,, finally at the age of 38 (suprise) DS came into our world, it seems selfish when people are so hung up on what sex it is, instead of being grateful for having healthy kiddos, but on the flip side, you just need to take it with a grain of salt, and realize what kind of person your cousin and his wife are, I wouldn't spend one more minute worrying about what they are doing! Hopefully, venting helped!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:17 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • wow anon. op i get what you are saying they should just be thankful they have healthy children. too bad they werent happy with the children they have and were willing to take better care of them. what i have to say is good luck in trying to conceive your little one and i hope HE or SHE is healthy.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 10:17 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Well I sure wouldnt want you judging me thats for sure. I have 5 kids. I have tattoos. I also smoked when I was younger. We were poor too. My kids some times wore hand me downs. I had a brand new car most of the time though because my mom and dad paid for me to have one. I am sure alot of people judged me when I was younger but they didnt know what was actually happening in my home behind closed doors or what was in my heart.
    I was raised to ask myself if someone acting the way they do matters to my life? Does it affect my paycheck? My kids? Do they pay my bills? Do I have to sleep with them? Live with them? No? Then live and let live.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:19 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I understand what you mean. it's a "more" society, everybody wants MORE. I too find it sad that they cant appreciate what they've been given. I know several couples who would be so gratefull to even have ONE child. I too think your cousin is selfish. Children aren't a "Right" they are a privlage, and too many people take advantage of that privlage. Yea yea, and I know I can't spell lol
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:19 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

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