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Does it upset you when...

Your SO/whoever you're living with doesn't notice the work you've done?

Right now, I do consider it my job to keep our apartment clean, because I'm unemployed and my roommate works 7 days a week. So I'm the one who does the dishes/laundry, and I'm the one who keeps the place tidy. It's not a difficult job, because between the two of us we do not have a lot of stuff, and my son doesn't live with me, so there's no toy mess or anything. The place never gets particularly messy, so it's not a big job to clean it. Today I have people coming over, so I spent yesterday doing a big clean up, where I vaccuumed and everything... which is not something I do every time I clean. The place is much cleaner than usual.
On my roommate's way out the door this morning, he says "Clean this place up today, it's a mess." Excuse me?! There are no dirty dishes in the sink, no clutter anywhere, not even any mess in the front doorway. Of course I got mad right away.
This was one of my biggest issues with my son's dad. When I was a SAHM, he expected the house to be SPOTLESS every day, and when it wasn't, he was pissed. When I did get around to cleaning (it was a much bigger job there) it went unnoticed and unappreciated. My roommate is usually really good about thanking me for cooking and cleaning and everything, and he usually makes me feel appreciated... but when my efforts go unnoticed, it really upsets me.

Does anyone else have an SO/whatever that does this? Does it upset you as much as it does me?


Asked by AdensMama0308 at 10:31 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 24 (18,609 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Everyone likes to have their work recognized, and I'm just like everyone else. I get a tad miffed when my DH does not notice that I've been working all day on getting the house clean, keeping the boys from making a bigger mess, and just taking care of everything in general. It doesn't happen very often with us, though, so that's a plus. I do get a little aggravated when he wonders why I haven't done more, though. I am on meds for depression and anxiety, fighting that, playing with the boys, caring for the animals, and cleaning ALL DAY. What do you mean why haven't I done more?!? lol

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:37 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • No. Not anymore. My ex husband was that way though. Notice, he is my ex. My Dh who I married in 2006 is always thanking me for things that I think should be done everyday and I dont need thanks for. Like he will thank me for doing his laundry. I am like huh really? I stay home so I think like you probably do that doing the laundry is probably the least I can do.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:33 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My husband never acknowledges when the house is clean but i do it more for me than him because i can't stand clutter, now if i were to have dinner on the table every night when he got home that would be something he would notice and be happy about lol

    Answer by lovelyheaven271 at 10:57 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My husband always comments on how nice the house looks.

    Could he have jokingly said it because it's clean?

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:01 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I have gotten to the point of "why bother" I have tried to make my house spotless as possible, thinking that my dh will say something about how great the house looks or something along those lines, yeah right! so I have given up, exept the most essenstinal cleaning, I don't bother with the "deep" cleaning.

    Answer by djh0505 at 5:06 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • There's your problem your roomate is a he. They are kinda mean when they wanna be.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 AM on Feb. 24, 2011