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Mother in law

I know for some this is a touchy subject but. I have been married for 9 years now and lost my father in law almost three years ago. My mother in law had to come live with us and I just am soooooo uncomfortable in my own house! She is helpless, he did everything for her. She does nothing. I feel like the maid, or I'm running a bed and breakfast. I am so frustrated with this situation and all my husband says well if you can't handle it then just leave. We have a seven year old daughter that is also affected. My mother in law follows her all over the house and hangs on her constantly. Please help me before I end up in divorce court!

 
Mrsd516

Asked by Mrsd516 at 11:18 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (23 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 11:23 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I would pack up my daughter and take her on a vacation - and leave my husband to deal with his mother on his own for a while. Let him see how it feels and then see if he has a different idea. I've already let my husband know I will not be caring for his mom should anything happen. I love him, but I can't stand her - and he knows it.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:28 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Don't do for her what she can do for herself....Get your daughter out of the house regularly if you can.....relationships are negotiable....also you need to assert yourself as queen of the home...There can be only one queen and it is you...Best wishes...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:33 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I agree with some of the other posters, I would take your dd on vacation for a week or so and see how he deals with her. This is just as much your house as it is his and if you don't want someone there, they shouldn't be there
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:34 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • have you left your husband alone with the MIL for a couple days and see how he handles it?
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 11:21 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I wish I knew how to help. Is your mother-in-law helpless or does she simply like being catered to?
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 11:21 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • How old is she? I had my fil living here with us and he was trying that crap on me and my dh too. It put a huge strain on our marriage. He finally came and told me he was quitting his job and going to take social security early ($600 a mth not enough for him to live on we would have had to pay for it). I told him that was fine, but if he chose to do so I would help find him an assisted living facility based on his income. My dh wasnt happy about it. I told him I cant handle it. It isnt my job to take care of your dad. I dont ask you to take care of my mom or dad and theyd never ask. It took about a year of me pushing the assisted living thing and he finally moved out on his own. My dh wasnt thrilled with it, but by this time our relationship was becoming strained and his dad and his was too. He was caught in the middle. I felt bad for it. But my dh is alot happier now that his dad is gone.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 11:23 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Then he needs to make a choice. His mothe rand his dead father, or his wife and daughter.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:34 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 11:29 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My husband does a lot for his mom too (not to the point of her moving in, mind you) and he does it because he promised his dad on his death bed that he would take care of her. She knows it and uses it, but my husband has a strong devotion for his dad, and rightfully so, he was a great dad and spent a lot of time with my husband growing up. Good luck.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 11:30 AM on Feb. 24, 2011