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4 Bumps

When will he sleep ???

Seriously I think my child HATES to sleep.. we've been battling this since his birth. He is now over 3 years old.. there was a time from 8 months to 2 years he actually did sleep through the night ( 6 hours straight, which to us/me.. that was sleeping through the night ) then 2 weeks before he turned 2 he got a typical flu vomiting virus and this has been a nightmare ever since.. he started waking 3-4 times, then it turned in to 5-6 times.. I tried REtrying all the infant methods we tried earlier, tried not going to him per the request of his Ped and my DH which only upset him to the point where he wouldn't fall back to sleep at all, tried a special bedtime animal, blanket and new bedding even.. tried night lights, he sleeps with a fan already for white noise, tried laying with him and then next to his bed, then tried herbal homeopathic remedies, then Melatonin per the request of his Ped which helped him actually fall asleep but he would wake at 2am wide awake so I tried 1/2 the dose and it helps for a couple nights and then back to him waking again. he does go through growing pains but that's obvious at least - I feel like each method I've tried I've done for at least 4 weeks and longer to try to be consistent... the past 4 months I've resorted to ending up in his bed as its the only way we get to sleep at ALL - which he still tosses and turns and wakes up while I am there -we've gone through the night mare/bad dreams stage, then he started seeing "Grandpa" in his closet a couple months ago so I let him sleep with a mini finger flashlight which helped with that part.. but I can count maybe 2 times a month he will actually sleep through the night.. which sleeping all the way through isn't the biggest deal, its getting at least 3 solid hours would be nice.. I don't know what to do - my husband thinks it would be over reacting to get a sleep study done..any one have advice/suggestions? oh, when he does wake, he says he needs me, or just says Mommy over and over - I don't get an actual "reason' he is waking 99% of the time..

 
maxsmom11807

Asked by maxsmom11807 at 1:05 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 29 (40,703 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Soo, first I would give yourself a big hug . . . you have tried soooo much, I am sure you are exhausted.
    This is how I handled that same scenario:
    1) I stayed with the child, laying down, until he/she falls asleep. Be consistent about bedtime routine and bedtime, but stay there. After he falls asleep, get up and leave the room.
    2) Every time he wakes, go in right away becfore he gets too upset or aroused. Lay back down, close your eyes, and wait for him to fall asleep again. Get up and leave.
    You'll be going in a lot at first, but he will get used to opening his eyes alone, and will have no stress about it because he knows you are available.
    I did this with my daughter who sounds like she has much the same sleep issue as your son. Now, she's 4. I still stay with her while she falls asleep, but she is calm now is she awakens in the middle of the night, and winds up putting herslef back to sleep.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:20 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • 1. Try a hot CHAMOMILE drink at night, to make him sleepy.
    2. Play with him, try to exhaust him before going to bed (ask him to bring you objects, i.e. play with ball),
    so that he has no energy to stay up all night.
    3. A warm / on the hot side bath will relax his muscles and help him sleep.
    4. Bedtime story. Read stories to him, and tell him that if he falls asleep he'll see beautiful colourful dreams.
    5. For your own happiness, try not to sleep with him, cause the more you give in, the more he'll get used to it.

    "Ending up in his bed as its the only way we get to sleep at ALL"

    I understand how difficult, frustrating and exhausting this is, but this will affect your relationship with your husband in the long run.

    6. Now this may sound funny, but having another child will make him feel LESS LONELY, and if you tell him he's the big boy, and his job is to protect his little sibling, ... !
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 1:19 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • We walked ours back to bed EVERY time, kept it businesslike.

    At one point we set up a tent in his room, and that worked very well.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:22 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Excuse the above typos . . . .
    The point is that when you take emphasis and stress out of the situation, your child will feel more secure and more able to move into nighttime independence. Don't let yourslef of you kids stress over it . . . :)
    Good luck Mom!
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:23 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My suggestions:
    1) get him in some activities either through your local YMCA or community center to wear him out.
    2) implement Super Nanny's Back to bed routine or the one that has you slowly exit the room each night (will get back to that)
    3) set up a bed time routine that y'all follow EVERY night.

    Back to bed routine:
    1) do your normal bed time routine and put him to bed
    2) 1st out of bed tell him It's bed time sweety and put him back in bed with hugs and kisses
    3) 2nd out of bed tell him it's bed time sweety and put him back in bed with NO hugs and kisses
    4) 3rd, 4th, 5th etc. times out bed say nothing and just put him back in bed, key point here is no interactions

    CONT
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:33 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • CONT

    The other one:
    Do your normal bed time routine and then either sit on the edge of his bed, staring into neutral space without engaging him at all, or sit in a chair next to his bed. Every night inch your way towards, and eventually OUT his door.

    I can never remember what Super Nanny calls this one, but it's not been as effective in my house as the back to bed one is/was.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:35 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Thank you Mommies - just adding - He never gets out of his own bed so we don't need to walk him back, he yells my name over and over and the quicker I am to go to him, the more likely I am to get him back to sleep - I am or can retrying laying with him until he's alseep however my presence seems to stimulate him even more - I think he's also the most energetic boy you've ever met, we don't have a choice even to not try to wear him out - I just dont' think it happens.. we even made this game up called "run" where we touch the walls of the one side of the house to the other lol!~ My husband and I already don't sleep together as it is - that's a personal choice/preference for both of us as he is a light sleeper / and I am a kicker lol! he also works nights so he needs the most sleep and gets the best if I am not there -its been that way for 8 years and we are more in love than ever.lol!~
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 1:36 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I would totally love to do the super nanny and have watched that over and over and that almost seems "Easy" compared to this.. but the fact is, he's not even getting out of his bed, never has.. we also have had the playtime, one activity or game, dinner, family time, bath then 15 minutes of eating a snack while watching sprout.. the snack time is the only thing we've tried adjusting earlier to see if that would help but this has been our routine since he was 7 months old.. I am going to very much try the tea though.. that is one thing I've not tried... oh, ImaginationMama, that is currently what I have been doing for the past 3 months.. and why my husband seems to think this is now a Habit.. because I do end up in his bed even if its til he falls asleep - it just doesn't limit the amount of wake ups either.. thanks so much for all the advice!
    maxsmom11807

    Comment by maxsmom11807 (original poster) at 1:40 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

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