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My 4 month old will not fall asleep unless I rock him...I'm worried that this problem will only get worse as he gets older...when should I start laying him down in his bed and just letting him cry? and for how long?

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Asked by beccapaoli at 11:12 AM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (11)
  • Let him cry. If after 15 minutes he has not quieted down check on him, but don't pick him up. If he's all right then just leave. And don't fall for the coughing act, it is the first trick they learn.

    Answer by irishidid at 11:18 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • The sooner you get him to start comforting himself at night the better. If his crying bothers you start out with 5 or 10 minutes at first and then slowly continue to wait longer time periods. It is hard at first, but if you don't it gets worse. I have 3 boys. My first one I waited too long and he ended up in my bed till he was in preschool. Good Luck!!

    Answer by loveprincess003 at 11:20 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Only you can decide whether crying-it-out is the best thing for you and your child. Don't let other people pressure you into doing something that doesn't feel comfortable to you. Have you tried holding him the rocking chair, but not rocking, until he falls asleep? Or rocking slowing and slower each night, to wean him off of it? Hey, at least he rocks to sleep. At 4 months, my son was still having a LOT of trouble sleeping, and not even rocking worked.

    Answer by leahjoy at 11:21 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Right now is the best time. Take it from me!!! With my oldest son we had this same problem and I would not let hime just cry. It lasted almost a year in a half. With my DD I did not make that mistake. I let her cry for about 15mins and pick her up. If she stops right away then I lay her back down. It is alright if they cry. They say it helps them.

    Answer by Kater16 at 11:24 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Rock him for a small amount of time. Put him in crib, if you are okay with pacifier give to him as this conditions him to self soothe. It is okay to let him cry. If still not self soothed in 10 min, go in pat his bottom or tummy depending on how he sleeps (back or tummy) but do not pick up, then leave the room. He will slowly learn it is okay and will self soothe hisself to sleep. Crying is good for their lungs as well but of course not long periods of hard crying.

    Answer by tngal at 11:26 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • i held my kids all the way up until we both couldn't fit in the chair. if they want it take them up on it cuz there will come a day when you will urn for it and they wont want it so take what you can get now beside i think it makes a closer bond between mother and child mine are all in the 20's and call home on a regular basis and i mean like usually 2-3 times a day. i wouldnt have it anyother way. they are only little once enjoy it even though there are things to be done the other things will wait babies dont.

    Answer by yathere at 11:44 AM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I rocked my daughter until she was 21 months old. It was my special time with her and I enjoyed it. One day she said No Rock a bye mommy and just went and got into bed herself.

    Answer by CandaceHalfhill at 12:12 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I usually wait 15-20 min to see if they fall asleep. Some babies just fuss a bit before they can sleep. If he continues to cry do the process over again. Within a week he should be fine.

    Answer by jfreesNish at 12:25 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • He needs you. please don't make him cry, it's cruel.

    Answer by bamsmom2001 at 1:33 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Have you researched this? Harvard has proven that cry-it-out can cause brain damage. We have always known it can cause detachment and disassociative disorders.

    I agree with bamsmom2001..making an infant cry is cruel. All it teaches babies is that their cries are not worthy of a response, that THEY are not worthy of a response. It is very sad, indeed.


    Answer by catholicmamamia at 9:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

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