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Does anyone else feel like this? if so how did u fix it?

Well I'm really not sure how to start this question..... I used to be the main income and worker of the family. Then my hubby got a really good job and I started having a lot of back problems and had to quit several jobs, some mutual and some wasn't for me in about a 3 yr period. I current am a SAHM and baby sit part-time which gives my some spending money, but i can't help with hardly any bills. I would luv to go back to school, but have school loans that r almost in default and medical bills getting ready for collections cause my hubby does not consider them as HIS bills. Anyways I guess I feel like I have no where to go or a way to get back to doing something with my life. I feel like I am at a stand still and I feel my hubby doesn't think I contribute to much. He tries to be understanding, but sometimes he throws it in my face. I thought about trying to get disability, but I heard it is not worth the hardship to try to get it and I don't have the money for the medical bills to even try. I just wish I knew what i am supposed to do in life beside being a mom. I have always wanted to be a Children Developemental Therapist, but no one will consider me with out a degree. So again I am lost. Please help if possible? Thanks in advance.


Asked by brooklyndm at 1:24 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 12 (658 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I'm sorry that I don't have any advice but I feel for you. I used to have an awesome career and lost it due to disability. Now I am married and pregnant and staying home... I feel like I don't contribute enough... what's weird is that I look at other SAH's and see all the wonderful ways they contribute but I can't seem to apply that to myself.

    About the student loans - if they default and hubby' wages and tax returns are garnished then it'll be his problem. You'd better push him about that.

    Also... you may look into financial aid to go back to school!

    Answer by angelmommy11 at 1:27 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Have you looked into public service loan forgiveness?

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:27 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Call your student loan provider and ask about the Income Based Repayment plan, or the IBR. It is based on your income and will reduce your payment or will give you a zero payment amount. You have to reapply each year, but if you qualify for the zero payment, it still counts as if you are making payments.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:43 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • sorry to say but your husband sounds abusive he may not be physically abuseing you but he is emotionaly and mentally buy not helping you and adding more stress to you. I used to work up to a hundred hrs aweek plus home school my daughter do volunteer work and school myself. I was paying all my mothers bills. I got hurt @ work my hrs got cut my bills went to heck becuase i was only making enought o pay for the vehicle that was in my mothers name, put gas in the vehicle twice a week to bring me to work and drive her to her job drop her off and go get her. I also kept up the insurance on the vehicle. needless to say my bills weren't getting paid. she told me her things were more important than mine.. I have filed for ssi it takes a while. my daughter and I are homeless while my mom moved up norht to a different place and sold her place here

    Answer by princesschilly at 2:14 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • needless to say my credit is shot right now . her's is fine because I kept her bills up when i was able to work.

    Answer by princesschilly at 2:17 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Becoming a SAHM was a very hard thing for me honestly. It was a mutual choice for me to SAHM w/ baby but going from 60hrs+ a week to at home for sometimes 14 straight days (yes I would go that long before setting foot outside in the first year we lived in the city & she was sick a lot) was awful. I feel like I am depending on a man to support me but that isnt the case at all. I cant stand not making my own money & it even took SO a while to get over the "my money" concept now he respects that its "our money" b/c I am working here at home. Its hard I dont know how else to explain it but its so hard. I cant wait to go back to work but then again I wouldnt trade in these years with my daughter for anything. I hope to pick up something small in the future soon like 1-2 shifts of something a week waitressing or something to have my own extra cash.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 2:27 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I love stay home with my son. but feel like i need to help out more with the bills and i feel like i am stuck and no options in life right now. I have always wanted to be a SAHM but we really cant afford it.

    Comment by brooklyndm (original poster) at 3:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I am so sorry that your husband treats you so badly. Marriage should be an equal partnership, without "yours and mine", especially if one spouse stays home.

    I can't recommend strongly enough couples counseling; if he won't go, I hope that you will go yourself

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:32 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • u guys r totally focusing on the wrong part and i didnt say that so u guys could trash talk my husband. he has been there for me as I for him since we were 16 yrs old and we are still so much in love. my issue was i feel like i have no where to go in life so i can help out with the household bills. not that he wont pay it it is just one of the last bills on the told om pole. please quite commenting about my husband. help me with the issue at hand. thanks in advance again.

    Comment by brooklyndm (original poster) at 11:57 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Thanks for the help........ NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment by brooklyndm (original poster) at 4:44 AM on Feb. 27, 2011