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Is it ok to talk to my 3 year old and tell what i expect of him at bed time, nap time, and the next day and remind him later?

I started this yesterday at nap time. I told him i expect him to be quite and take a good nap (hard to get him to do if u read my question on that). Then when he wakes up i tell him what i expect of him to do after nap so i don't have to constantly punishing him. Then at bed time i ask him how his day is and if he didn't get timeouts that day i ask him was it nice not to be sitting on the naughty step and can we do that tomorrow. Then i also tell him ur friend Dan comes over do we take toys out of his hands even though they are yours, he replies and says NO, i ask why and he says it is naughty. It seems to work and i ask him before his friend comes over to play with him if we play nice and share so he understands what i expect of him so i don't have to be constantly yelling or punishing or taking toys away.
do u think it is ok for me to be doing or is it just point less

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Asked by at 1:45 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 16 (2,515 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It is perfectly acceptable for you to tell him what you expect of him and it is acceptable to tell him as often as you need to tell him. What you also need, though, is a disciplinary action for when he does not do what he knows you expect of him. It does no good to tell him if you don't discipline him when he doesn't.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • NannyB- i do tell him if he doesn't do what i expect of him or i catch him doing a naughty thing he will be sitting on the naughty step for 3mins and after the 3mins are up i ask him why he is there and he tells me, and i say if u do it again and or i catch u doing it again ur back in the naughty step for another 3mins and u have to put a toy in the naughty bag.

    Comment by (original poster) at 1:53 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I think that is perfectly fine. I do this with my almost 3 year old girl, and the hardest part is following through on the discipline. But I started doing this when she was like 1.5 and my family made fun of me but she really listens well for her age. We don't have to do a lot of time-outs or anything. She really only gets to be a stinker when she is tired (and then it is early bedtime! Yay!)

    Answer by brighteyesbryar at 1:54 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I think it's awesome. It's easy to forget that kids this age lack the impulse control needed to internalize all our rules without reminders. You're given your son the tools to be successful. You're telling him what he needs to do to stay out of trouble and you're doing it in close enough proximity to the activity itself to ensure he'll be able to remember them and apply them. You tell him in the morning "I want you to be quiet at nap time" and he gets so wrapped up in everything else about his day he forgets at nap time. Telling him as you're getting him ready is age appropriate and it's paying off.

    kudos to you!

    Answer by ldmrmom at 1:56 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Brighteyesbryar- I noticed talking to him and telling him what i expect of him is working a lot better, the timeouts are less that what they used to be. He used to get time outs every hr on the hr cuz he is just a tester.

    Comment by (original poster) at 1:57 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • EVERYONE should talk to their child like an intelligent being. They should know what is expected of them and what their limits and bounderies are. Children need to know that, so they can choose for themselves whether they follow it or not. It helps build their character, their independence, and it allows them to reason and make choices for themselves. I think it's great idea to talk to them about what is expected of them.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:06 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Thats a good method. I'll have to try it myself. My son is a good boy and very smart but he doesn't like to share with certain kids. :( Trying to break him of that.

    Answer by MomofSteel at 12:03 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • to MomofSteel- it seems to be working with him i have been doing it now for 3 days and it is getting better fewer timeouts, Happier Haiden and a happier mommy.

    Comment by (original poster) at 1:03 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I do the same thing anytime my daughter seem receptive to listening!! Keep it going becasue they do actually hear what u r saying, but act up anyway sometimes, but do the right thing other times. Alwasy keep talking, not nagging, talking when they r ready to hear it, & I always think bedtime is a good time to do a recap of the day.

    Answer by deniselvt at 5:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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