Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I deal with my DH's manipulative ex-wife?

My DH doesn't seem to have a backbone when it comes to her & she uses their kids to get what she wants.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You dont deal with her, nothing you say or do will have any impact on how she acts. This is something your dh will have to address and if he isnt willing then you just deal with it.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:00 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • You don't deal with her, you deal with him.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:02 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I agree with the previous poster. This isn't your issue to deal with.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 2:02 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • If your DH doesn't have a backbone, then you grow one....You cannot change him, but you can take care of the situation if it affects you. If he won't tell her no, then YOU tell her no....depends on what it is, of course...don't be afraid to be a bitch....people call you names to get you to back down....don't give them that power....of course, don't be unreasonable, either....You may need to build a relationship with her, come to some sort of understanding, etc....of course, also realize that she is his children's mother and don't bring the kids into it or do anything to hurt their relationship with their mother or dad.

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:27 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I've asked this very question time and again and it is a lot more common than you may think. I have one in my life so I feel your pain. There's a bunch of different answers but what works for me is to talk to someone about it, whether it be a professional or a friend. But, to address it to the ex, forget it. She's already manipulative...she'll turn it around or use it against you. The SO is most likely like mine, doesn't want part of the drama or nightmare. It's unfortunate for those women who are actually jerked around by their exes but when a woman ex is the problem, hell hath no fury...You should send me a message some time, I could tell you

    Answer by Philly247 at 3:02 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I don't think it's wise to get involved in their business as much as it sucks. In what ways is she using the kids? If he has court ordered rights there is nothing she can do to infringe on them without legal consequence so what power is it that she has that she is using to make life miserable? Often times people think their words and their idea of how things should be are law but thinking something doesn't make it so. He needs to be educated on his rights and know when she's blowing smoke.

    Answer by kayslay at 3:11 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.