Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

7 Bumps

Ex might name his baby after my daughter

Okay I was with this guy for a total of 4 years. We came up with a name for a girl if we were to ever have one. Well We broke up for a year and during that time I had a late miscarriage and it was a girl. I named her the name we picked out even though the baby wasn't his. we got back together but broke up again on good terms because I was how do I say it nicely? I was mentally fucked up because of certain things. Well fast forward almost 5 years. His wife is pregnant and he just asked if he could use that name if they have a girl. But he won't tell his wife where the name came from because for some reason she hates my guts even though we never met. We still talk ever once and a while.
What should I tell him? I honestly wouldn't care but I am just thinking on if his wife did find out where the name came from, it will cause major problems and I don't want to be the cause.

 
mommy_of_two388

Asked by mommy_of_two388 at 3:22 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (154,356 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I would say, if it doesn't bother YOU... lol.. The wife issue is HIS problem.. (=
    peekab00

    Answer by peekab00 at 3:24 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • as far as the problems they may have, that's not your headache, so don't make it so. If he uses the name and is dishonest with his wife about it, then that's his fault, and a dumb move. I mean, she'll probably find out eventually, and what is she going to do, tell the daughter she has to change it?

    If you don't mind, then I would just tell him so. As for the rest, let him worry about it.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 3:25 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • If he likes the name and you don't mind, say yes. It's really his decision. Now, if she doesn't like the name, then they shouldn't go with it.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 3:26 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I wouldn't care, but I would tell him he needs to tell his wife. Also, if he is talking to you without his wife's knowledge, that is inappropriate and I would not talk to him anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:29 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I would tell him that he could use it if he was honest with his wife about where he got the name and why he wants to use it
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 3:25 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Well lying to his wife is certainly going to bite him in the ass some day. But Its a name you didn't make the name and I'm sure there are tons of other babies with the same name so who cares. I can see why this would be a little irritating. my cousin took not one but 3 names i said that i liked for my kids someday. and the 3rd one we were pregnant at the same time and both used the same name *sigh* but I just let it go there's no sense in getting worked up over something you can' control and that in grand scheme is trivial

    plus everyone knows who came first ;p
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 3:26 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • somehow that just seems wrong to me.i mean does he know the circumstances and that you have a daughter named that already? i wouldnt like it jmo
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 3:26 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • His lying to his wife is his problem, first off.
    Second off, you could look at it as an honor that he likes the name that much.
    Also, even though that baby wasn't his, doesn't mean it didn't hurt him to lose her, and it doesn't mean he doesn't miss her.
    That's just my opinion, and this is really something you have to figure out on your own.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 3:30 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • You wouldn't be the cause. If you don't mind him naming his child after your daughter, just let him make his own decisions. If she finds out and gets angry, it has nothing to do with you.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 4:45 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I think his wife needs to know where the name originates before she agrees and it is his responsibility to tell her that. He needs to man up and be honest.
    2boysnaprincess

    Answer by 2boysnaprincess at 5:01 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN