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For the moms who got out of an abusive relationship are any of you still close with his family?

My family thinks I shouldn't spend so much time with my ex's family..however to really understand my point you'd have to know a bit of the background - when I was 13 I ran away from home, I couldn't handle being around my mother or brother. I spent more than a few nights in some shady places but within a month I met a 19 year old guy who was like a big brother - he let me stay at his place for awhile until just after my 14th birthday when I finally got caught and returned to my home state, I refused to go back to my mother so I was put in foster care. My future ex and his family lived next to my foster family, I often babysat for them when the older boys weren't home and I became friends with all of them. My foster home wasn't much of a home so I spent more and more time next door. When I was almost 15 I started dating one of them - Jonathan. I became emancipated and finished highschool at 16 and then moved in with Jonathan and his family. We were together off and on for 8 years, we have 4 kids between 7 and 2 years old. Most of the time he was the sweetest guy - other times he could be vindictive and mean. Once in awhile it would get physical, he'd push me or throw me into a wall and I'd fight back. I left for good the first time he slapped me in front of our kids. I've had almost no contact with him in two years - he is allowed supervised visits with the kids, his parents bring the kids to the meeting place and I pick them up after from their house. His family is still very much my family, more than my biological family. I call his parents mom and dad, I attend family functions, I'm best friends with his brothers and sister.

My family thinks I should spend only what is neccesary with them - basically just give them time with the kids so they aren't cut off from that side of the family but that's all. They always say "What if Jay shows up while you're there?" but honestly I'm not afraid of him - he isn't stupid enough to try anything, he has no desire to go back to prison and I have his 6 brothers and father who would gladly beat the crap out of him if he so much as raised his voice to me.

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (1)
  • I honestly don't think there's a problem with remaining close with an ex's family. Even an abusive ex. I'm still close with my ex's family. They've stood by me through everything their son has put me and my DS through. If you're no longer afraid of him and feel safe around his family then I don't see and issue. GL!

    Answer by myree85 at 8:29 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

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