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2 Bumps

Jealous Mother or what

When I was young I was always very close to my mother but when I turned 18 and started dating for the first time, I relationship took a hard hit. She began trying to find reasons me and my then bf should split up even filing police complaints against him and even me. I started working and landed a good job, and she decided to 'suddenly' give me a curfew that was before the time I got off work. So enough was enough I ended up moving out at 19, and getting my own place. We had fallouts here and there but I always just let things go because she was my mother and told me 'she doesn't apologize to children.' A year or so later I had my son and my mom was never really around. He's about to be 4 now and she has never been to one of his b-day parties or even my baby shower. After 3 years, I found a guy I decided to settle down with. And now suddenly my mothers like my best friend. She never calls or comes by much (we live together) but she wants me to call her everyday like clockwork and for us to come by every weekend. I try to tell her nicely that the weekends are the only time we have to spend together, and when I do she gets offended and starts posting ignorant things on my facebook wall like, 'I guess we're not family anymore you dont call or come by, or I guess you're still living even though I don't hear from you anymore (after not talking to me for one day!). She doesnt work and stays two minutes away from us and could come over during the week any time she feels, but she always refuses. My sons bday is next month and she tried to tell me she was having his birthday at her house (?)and says things like 'you love him but you'll never love him as much as me and when he was born he saw me first.' I dont know why but it seems like she is jealous or something. But something about her attitude lately is sketchy especially since I've gotten pregnant again.

Answer Question
 
thelovelymzbre

Asked by thelovelymzbre at 8:47 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,326 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I'm not bashing your mom babes but seriously, she has some issues.  It sounds like she has control issues and is extremely jealous.

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • It sounds like she feels that she is loosing you. She doesn't have all of your time and she feels that it's her time.

    Set up daughter mother dates periodically. If she falls thru on them, let her know that you are willing to work out times to spend with her but you cannot devote all of your time to that...you have a life as well.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • sounds like my grandmother. sorry you have to deal with that.
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 8:50 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I'd speak to this woman's doctor, doing things like telling you to be home before you get off work is strange.
    comments that your son saw her first? was she at the birth even?

    I'd speak to her doctor if this is new, could be a sign of a health issue.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:51 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • It sounds like your mother might have some abandonment issues and that she is not ready to let go of her child. Were you the youngest?
    ihuggedatree

    Answer by ihuggedatree at 8:51 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • ~*Hugs*~... where you take the relationship with her is entirely up to you, can only tell you what our marriage therapist told us...

    We'd gone to seek serious help, and thankfully hubby's work covered top of the line help... I'd had the last I could take of certain family members behaviors, and how even though they didn't live in our home, it was infecting us to the point... the stress was causing our middle son to grind his teeth in his sleep, and our youngest wouldn't talk past babble (reverting). First thing the woman stated was why we were allowing those people to have the control to the point it affected our home! Second start to list the positives and negatives... and if they bring nothing positive to your life... CUT THEM OUT

    We've had peace/serenity ever since!!! Life is to short to be brought down by drama and games… some people can’t functions without it?!?! I personally "Don’t get it"
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 9:02 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

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