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3 Bumps

Adult Step children

Do you ever just wish you could take your adult step kids over your knee and spank their butts like they are the 4 year olds they pretend to be? My soon to be step daughter is 20 and a mother. Today she told my soon to be MIL that she is pissed about me marring her father who I have been with for 9 years and have 2 kids by and threw a fit over the whole thing. When asked if she wanted to be in the wedding she got huffy and said she was going to stand in the middle. It is not like her parents just split, they have not been together for over 18 years. I was not the first relationship he got into. I just want to shake the spoiled out of her. His other 2 girls are great they are excited and wonderful. Heck I would settle for her not planning on trying to ruin the wedding. Please tell me they mellow after their 20s.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • I think she feels your taking her daddy away in a sense if you have not giving her a reason to dislike you I wouldn't worry about her. maybe in a sense she feels jealous bc here you and herded are going to have a WEDDING and she never did or whatever situation she is in. But just be the nice person that you are and I do believe she will grow out of it you be the civil one for her sake ;) GL
    This will pass. Congratulations on your wedding. (One big happy family) Don't let NO ONE ruin it.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:57 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I feel your pain. I used to be a spoiled stepchild. Now my stepmom and i get along great! Hang in there, hope it gets better.

    Answer by erinwhitt at 9:00 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I hope you mean you want to spank them like they were 4 and YOUR CHILDEN because even if she was a child, she's not your child so you can't spank her. I would try to remember that this is her father, try to get along with her because no matter what, she will always be his DD

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Value her feelings. You sound like the wicked stepmother even thinking about spanking his children, adult or not. Shame on you. She's losing her dad. You should be more sensitive instead of being self absorbed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • the original poster didn't have animosity, anon. It sounds very much like this SD is the one who is VERY self-absorbed, saying things like "she's going to stand in the middle," etc. If I were the dad I'd tell her to act like a decent human being or she is UNINVITED to the wedding. Op was trying to be gracious offering to let her in the wedding party. Maybe if people like you didn't stroke kids heads, hold their hands, and tell them to get in touch with their anger when they're acting like spoiled brats, these kids would realize there's other people in the world besides them.

    As far as your spanking comment, it's awfully irritating how people expect stepparents to have all the responsibility of parenting, supposed to provide emotional support, be a drop-in 24/7 daycare center but none of the say in discipline, major decisions or opinions. Well the way I look at it is if you want me to be a 'parent' to said kid, that means

    Answer by purplerobin at 1:58 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I get to discipline that kid the same way I would my own. Otherwise, don't expect me to bratsit. Can't have it both ways. GET OVER YOURSELF, anon, and wake up to the fact that singing kum-ba-ya with the world's teenage brats more often than not doesn't do anything except make them more self-centered.

    Answer by purplerobin at 2:00 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I hope it never comes down to the place you are in Honda I am so sorry to hear that they are not even talking to the two of you.

    As for me being the wicked stepwitch anon you are so right. When they where being bullied and attacked at school I payed for them to go to private school because their parents could not afford it. We are not married yet so don't even think it was his money too. It was my money that sent all of them to a very nice private school. His exwife their mother is just as steamed about the way her daughter is acting as I am. Having been with him for 9 years and doing everything I have for them there is no fear of losing daddy. The other 2 are joking that daddy can afford better birthday gifts for them now. She is pissed because she will not be the center of the universe for 1 day. Which her being a mom I can not understand how she is still so self centered. Cont


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:38 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • She acts out a lot on big days that do not belong to her. After the fit she through at her sisters sweet 16 party her mother was fit to be tied. As a matter of fact I already invited her mother to the wedding and now knowing how she plans to act I may be making her mother my maid of honor so she can control her daughter during the wedding. I am bending over backwards to let her be involved but no I will not let her stand in the middle of the wedding wearing a white wedding dress and make this all about her. She is 20 and has a baby her damn temper tantrums need to stop.  She even tries to act out half as bad as she is planning I am pretty sure her mother will bend her over a knee and spank her right there in front of God and everyone for being a brat.


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:42 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I think I would have a nice quiet wedding with just a few best friends. Tell brat she's not invited because she can't act like an adult.

    Answer by Kimimale at 12:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I feel for you.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 12:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

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