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2 Bumps

Cheater Update!

Me and my Husband are working on his cheating incident, even though he only got caught talking to her, the intent was there if I hadn't intercepted the t ext. Anyway we are trying to work on it taking it one day at a time...he thinks were really OK but in my mind it will never be ok..
I'm not rocking the boat I talked to him and told him what i want and expect so now i'm playing the waiting game hopeing it won't happen again, but it wont be forgiven the second time.
Am I crazy for trying to make our marriage work? I stay confussed everyday and everyday I think about it.

Answer Question
 
dusty1962

Asked by dusty1962 at 11:44 PM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,831 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • no you're not crazy but I think you should do counseling... You are going to have alot of anger for a while... GL!

    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • You both need to do counseling...together and apart.
    There is going to be a lot of resentment on your part, completely natural.
    It's going to take a lot of time and a lot of working on trust issues...which brings us back to the time factor.
    He should definately be apologizing to you and trying to explain his view points as communication IS the key here.
    Good Luck to both of you.
    Missikat75

    Answer by Missikat75 at 12:14 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I think mama_june is right, marriage is a serious commitment and needs to try and work things out. But he if cheats again, throw his sorry ass into the street and get every dime he has!! Jk lol
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:15 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Oh yeah and he know's I will I have already told him that and I told him he wont find another women like me either....He has been as sweet as honey like he use to be...so I don't even know why he did what he did. He's his old self but Im NOT and wont ever be.
    dusty1962

    Comment by dusty1962 (original poster) at 12:19 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I think you are a strong woman for trying but if it was me, I wouldn't be able to forgive or trust again and in my opinion no relationship will work without trust. It's not worth the stress of worrying about what your DH is doing and who he is doing it with.
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 12:28 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I say try the counseling so that you know that you've tried your best and can leave him without any regrets if he cheats again. Taking him back again and again and accepting any excuses only teaches him that no matter what he does, you'll always be there and he can disrespect you and get away with it. You need to set boundaries right away or he will treat you like a doormat. I find that men often respect a woman that can walk away and sometimes test women to see if they have a backbone or not, then they act according to how much they can get away with. There are lots of men out there and keeping your options open keeps you from acting in desperation. He is not a child. He is an adult that knows full well the consequences of his actions. No one made him do what he did. He may try to purposefully confuse you and skew the facts just to keep things the way he likes it. When you feel like you're in the twilight zone, leave.
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:45 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I think you are a strong woman for trying but if it was me, I wouldn't be able to forgive or trust again and in my opinion no relationship will work without trust. It's not worth the stress of worrying about what your DH is doing and who he is doing it with.

    Answer by huntin_mama an hour ago


    I AGREE, WITH HER !!!!

    If you feel you can not trust him, LEAVE HIS ASS!!!!!!

    Let him go PLAY !

    Let HIM KNOW-- YOU do not "NEED" HIM !

    That is what most men, believe "You need them / HIM. .......NO !!!!"

    Can do without THEM .......... Girl-Friend ♥♥♥♥♥

    Hang in there, and HOLD YOUR GROUND !!!!!!


    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:58 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • waiting game: i have dealing with failures relationships in my life.
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 8:45 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Well my ex husband did the same thing. In 2001 I caught him lying to me about talking to a girl. He had her on his friends list and had changed her name to "Terror" thinking I guess I would think it was a guys nickname. Something was weird to me (gut instinct) and I got up early with the baby and went to his computer and updated the profile and saw she was NCSweet_T. I thought well, weird name for a guy haha. And she sent a message right then about how she needed him and hoped he had a good night. I told him youre busted. We moved, worked on our marriage and I thought it was over.
    By June 2002 I caught him cheating outright with the SAME girl. She knew he was married I had emailed her. We went to marriage counseling and ended up divorcing.
    My point is be careful. I never could get over it, and if theres a woman like this one I dealt with theyll keep on and on.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:30 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • what do you mean the intent was there?
    was there a text that they were going to sleep together?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

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