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8 Bumps

How did you say goodbye?

i lost my first baby about 4 months a go. i have never been an emotional person until this happened to me. i had no idea how to say a final goodbye and move on with my life. other people gave me ideas, but they never seemed to be what i needed. the grief i was holding in was slowing tearin me and my DH apart. we got into another fight and i left. i had no good intentions when i left. i was headed to the store for emotional bandaids. alcohol and cigarettes. instead i went to a park by my home. there was heat lightning bright enough to erase the stars, i layed on top of a bench and stared at the stars and w atched the lightning. i finally realized what i needed. before i even began i let go and cried harder than i have for years and picked a star to talk to. i am not religious, but i prayed to god not to take my baby at the hospital, and i seeked help again. i told my Alex how i felt, i didnt hold anything back. i spilled my heart out and expressed by love,grief, and why i felt terriable for what happend. i assured my baby i would never stop loving, missing, or thinking about it. i stayed at the park crying for almost 2 hours. and i feel lighter,like so much grief i didnt realize i even had was gone. for the first time i feel like i can move on. i needed to come to peace with the fact i will never get my baby back. i dont want a "new" one i want the one i lost, but i know i will feel the same love when i finally see those beautiful pink lines again. i would like to know how you found closure and how long it took. i feel like i should have done this sooner, i feel bad i took so long to say goodbye and i love you. but my relationship is back on track, and now my DH understands more, and i get more hugs than ever.

Answer Question
 
marie1989

Asked by marie1989 at 1:11 AM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 3 (19 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Don't ever feel bad.. you lost a child, I never experienced that but I have loved ones I lost and still grieve for them. If you need to cry, then cry. It is actually better. Your baby knows you loved them. It's ok to move on.... I wish you all the happiness in the world!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 2:18 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • and I'm so sorry... seriously, if you ever need a friend I am here
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 2:19 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • im sorryhugs


    I lost a baby in September.  I'm glad you were able to find a way to start to heal and that things are getting better with your DH. 


     

    DigiScrapperMom

    Answer by DigiScrapperMom at 5:22 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I am so sorry for your lost mama if crying makes you feel better than cry it all out im glad you and your husband are working out GOD will bless you with another child but you gotta move on i know its hard i just hope it gets better for you .Good Luck .
    alexia_09

    Answer by alexia_09 at 9:52 AM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I had a miscarriage which started 4 weeks ago in my 16th week of pregnancy and didn't END until two weeks later. It was unexpected, and very traumatic. I sense your pain in your words and I can relate for sure. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give more advice but I'm still walking through this myself. In answer to your question about coping I will tell you some of the things we have done. We named our baby (William David, it was a boy), gave him a funeral and buried him at a cemetery. We're going to buy a headstone. I made a William box which includes his sonogram pics, sympathy cards, a baby blanket I cut in two (the other half is buried with him) and other things. I picture him in heaven being rocked by my Grandma who passed away a number of years ago. I tell myself Grandma is raising him for me in heaven. These thoughts comfort me. If you want to talk some more just send me a message, I'll respond.
    Mama2JoshKatie

    Answer by Mama2JoshKatie at 6:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Your my first born so please just know and always remember you can call me anytime. I know you are a strong, loving, caring beautiful woman and Alex knows that. Your baby will be well taken care of - believe me honey. Its alright to cry and pray, you will be blesses with another.
    Love, hugs and kisses, Mom
    (Someday Grandma)
    LatteMama2011

    Answer by LatteMama2011 at 10:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • @my mom. thank u so much
    not many words that will do it justice.
    always thankful for you
    marie1989

    Comment by marie1989 (original poster) at 1:49 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • So Sorry<3
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 9:28 AM on Mar. 14, 2011

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