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Should I be annoyed with my husband?

I found a guy I used to be friends with in grade school on myspace. We were 9 years old the last time we saw each other. I moved to a different state and never saw each other again. Well anyway I found him on my space and Im so excited, we both are married and have families, he seems to have an exciting career in music. Well my husband does not want me to befriend him because he's jealous and he feels that it could lead to something else. Ive never cheated on him and I have no intentions to. My husband however has cheated on me and has female friends and not on myspace, in other words we have dinner with these women and hang out on occasion. Do you think he is out of line?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Alls fair..if you cant have guy friends then he cant have girlfriends..that's setting a double standard..it's not right..so tell your hubby that if you cant befriend an old friend that you haven't seen since you were 9 then he cant be friends with all the girls..he is being VERY out of line......he thinks you'll cheat on him with your old friend, but how are you supposed to feel when he has cheated on you and has all these girlfriends?
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 10:09 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • uuggghhh..seriously? YES he is out of line! you do you honey and tell "whats good for the Gander is good for the Goose"
    cisnemom

    Answer by cisnemom at 10:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I don't think he's wrong. I mean if you get close to this guy again isn't there a possiblity that some thing might happen? Why even allow the situation to rear his ugly head. You can catch up but you've got a man in your life alreayd right? I know he's cheated but two wrongs don't make it right! That's just how I feel.
    MiMiBreezy

    Answer by MiMiBreezy at 10:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Wow. Just out of curiosity, why do you tolerate hanging out with them knowing that he's cheated on you? I would say there are double standards in your relationship. I would think you would have more reason to be jealous and worried about who he hangs out with rather than someone you haven't seen since you were nine. You have every reason to be annoyed with your husband right now, and I recommend that you talk with him about it. Keeping your feelings inside won't solve the problem.
    lebrbria

    Answer by lebrbria at 10:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • He is really out of line. He cheated on you and is STILL insecure? Wow, how unfair. I don't think there's anything wrong with befriending this guy from grade school. If you know what you're doing and there are obviously no romantic feelings between you two...why not? I would actually consider this a networking opportunity. You just never know if he may one day know somebody that know somebody that may be able to give you a job.
    bfabulous

    Answer by bfabulous at 10:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I think he is out of line. Just because he has cheated, doesn't mean you are going to and I think he needs to remember that. I think you should go for it and enjoy having your friend and his family in your life. Good friends are hard to come by and you shouldn't pass up this opportunity because of your husband's insecurities.
    supermomkell

    Answer by supermomkell at 10:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • i think he is out of line - he thinks you will cheet on him just cause he has ... obviously he thinks that you are just as weak as he is and will jump anything that tempts you~
    i would never continue to be with a man who has chosen somone over me... so i dont understand why you are with him still *i gues you have your excuses- oh i mean reasons* as to why you would allow yourself to be be-littled and used ...
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 10:20 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • It was once told to me that people often see their own personality flaws in others to make themselves justified. In other words; if you feel guilty about cheating, you will be suspicious that your spouse might cheat, (like you are now even). I don't know if I could handle letting him have friends that are girls and single (it's not normal), but they also say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer...lol.
    gwood

    Answer by gwood at 10:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • This is a classic case of him being insecure and accusing because HE has cheated. It is typical behavior. There is nothing wrong with you connecting with your childhood friend. He doesn't trust you because you shouldn't trust him. He knows exactly how deceitful someone can be.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 10:27 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I think that it would be wise of both of you to set the standard that there should be no alone time with opposite sex friendships and that if there are opposite sex friends, you are both friends iwth them or not friends at all.

    By the way, alot of men and woman have affairs because they are insecure, so its not suprising that he finds insecurity in you having a guy friend that he feels threatend by. And it may be less of him not trusting you, as much as it is him understanding the temptation and how quickly opposite sex friendship can turn into more. I doubt that when he married you, he thought that he would ever cheat on you. If he can't trust himself, its hard to find trust in others.

    Also, it sounds like your husband needs to resolve the issues that lead to his affair. They are obviously still there.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 10:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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