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Why do some Moms feel that they have to be "friends" with their teen?

I was just wondering. Alot of moms, when they post problems about there teens, some moms come on and say "Oh well, she has a deep rooted issues and needs someone to talk to." " Dont be to hard on him/her, or they'll hate you." TO ME THIS DOES NO GOOD! I have seen THOUSANDS of examples. My mother raised me with a strict hand. Now OF COURSE you do stuff in your teen years, but NOTHING I did was real bad because I WAS AFRAID OF MY MOTHER, because she was MY MOTHER. I could come to her and takl about anything, but, I knew where to draw the line AND NEVER disrespected her. WHAT SHE SAYS GOES...NO EXPLANATION!

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YanniSmoMMy

Asked by YanniSmoMMy at 11:53 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (16)
  • But I see alot of people are saying give explanations or dont be so hard on them , they're teens. There is things that were not acceptable like TEEN SEX. That was a big no no. My mother always had open communication about it, BUT we better not act. I didnt have sex until I graduated and moved to college. I just want to know, does anybody agree with the "be friends w/ ur teen?"

    I find it ridiculus. You can be "friends" BUT you should be more of a mother, than a friend...
    YanniSmoMMy

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 11:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I am pretty hard on my teen about basic character issues and many people do say that he is such a good kid why are you hard on him about little things. I do it because I am his mother. He is a good kid for a reason. I love him and am nice to him and we are friends. But I am not afraid to mother him either
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Exactly...I think that's the problem with alot of teens today. ALOT of moms or parents, dont want to "UPSET" there teen or want to be the "COOL PARENT". Its ridiculus, because that helps them do NOTHING. MY mom had 5 kids...all of us were and still are good kids, because my mom took no crap, and got on us also with character issues, moral issues, and stuff she just didn't agree with. Her faavorite line "When you pay bills, then you make decisions." I love my mother to this day for it. It drives me NUTS when I see teens act out...like if a parent or teacher called my mom and sd I did something...instead of blaming the teacher or parent, she automatically...what did you do? If it sounded like something I did, than I got in trouble until I could prove I didn't do it. But parents now, JUMP SO QUICK to accuse others instead of looking to there own child.
    YanniSmoMMy

    Answer by YanniSmoMMy at 12:57 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Like with the 8 teens that beat up that girl...Almost ALL of there parents blamed the girl, or tried to move blame off there child. I heard not one parent say "I am deeply disappointed by the actions my child did to that young girl. It was unacceptable and no excuse. Consequences are being carried out, and we deeply apologize." UH NO...all I heard was "well, she's the one came over." or "well, there not bad kids." Its a shame...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • You can have a good relationship AND still be a parent to your teen. Parents nowadays are so afraid of causing permanent damage to their child so they opt out of discipline and rules for their children. I never understood how parents assume their kids are perfect and never prone to mischief. Hubby is a police officer and whenever he has to arrest a teen and call the parents, the parents are all up in HIS face and demanding he quit harassing the teen. Many of the parents hire lawyers to get their teens out of even the most minor of charges. This just enforces to them that it's never their fault and they never learn. Frustrating, for sure, because an entire generation is being raised that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:38 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i have a 17 yo son i'm not saying we're friends but we're close i want to be thisclose to him so i will know whats going on in his world, the closer we get the more he opens up to me, i'm close with his friends as well.

    tntornado45

    Answer by tntornado45 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i agree with you i have seen the same things especially with the teen sex with the same sex. it's like them having sex no matter who it is is suppose to be looked at like it's ok or what ever else they do wrong. my kids would be in big trouble and they know it. we don't spank and are fair but we live by a certain standard around here where the rules are clearly laid out and they have the consequences given if they misbehave. it seems as these other parents are trying to give the children to much free time and never asking what are you up too. i'm a mother first and a friend second. my kids and i are really close and we are able to talk about anything. infact it's like wrapped up into one, a mofrie (mother and friend)
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 12:40 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I'm extremely hard on my teen, but I still want him to be able to trust me. So I act like a friend, meaning that I make it easy for him to talk to me. I am open and honest with him about my past, like drug use, and when he's ready I'll gladly talk about the mistakes I've made in the sex area. You have to be somewhat open like a friend with your teen, but I do agree that you should not JUST be a friend, cuz otherwise they will do whatever they want.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 12:55 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Because Heaven's we are the uncool parent when we can he the awesome friend!

    There is a difference between being a good open parent and being a friend. Being an open parent is telling your child your mistakes. My mom did this. She told me things that she did and how it felt after. We went shopping and out to eat, just did the girl thing. Now my friends mom, wanted to bee seen as the cool mom. They would go shopping but her mom would encourage her to flirt with older men at the mall. She'd point out the hottest most thugged out looking dudes. She would let her party and drink all the time. In fact she went a head and got her a fake ID so that she had someone to go out to the club with...
    OneToughMami

    Answer by OneToughMami at 1:25 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • tough love is the best love. moms arent suspossed to be their childs friend. teenagers are suspossed to hate their parents.
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 2:20 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

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