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Am I over reacting?

Ok so I am getting seriously FED UP. I am normally a pretty chipper person and it takes alot to piss me off (well when talking about my kids, friends and family), but I am about to blow a gasket.
First of all my son who is 17 bought himself a car back in Aug. He knew it was going to need alot of work and that he had to get it running by march. I told him then I dont have the money to rebuild the engine or do much. I can help with small things, but big things not so much. He said he didnt need my help because he had a job and not to worry about it. Fast foward to now, and he has 3 weeks to get the car on the road and is freaking out. He hasnt done anything to this car & he hasnt saved any money to get it on the road.

My dh told me to go ahead and have our mechanic come over and take a look and tell my son exactly what he needs to get the car running. The mechanic came in and fixed a few things and we paid him and he told us what other parts he needed & to our surprise it isnt much. I let my son know because all together its going to cost him maybe $100 to get the car running. He makes $180 a week, I figure he can get what he needs, if not we can give him like half of the $100. He had a total cow and said he didnt have any money and how I had to pay for it. He went on and on how I gave his sister a car, and he had to pay his own. I did give his sister my old car, because she was pregnant and her car was breaking down and was no good for my grandson to ride in. Big difference. Her car also stayed in my name. If she didnt make the insurance payments I took it away. Plus, this wasnt the deal I made with my son. His brother (a yr older) didnt get a car from me either.

In the end dh went and bought him the things he wanted (which pissed me off bc I had said NO). Now my fil is over and he is a cocky guy who thinks he knows it all & really doesnt. He is asking for MORE money for parts the mechanic said we dont need. I finally told them I am not a freaking bank! On top of it my car is acting up & I asked fil to bring my son to church tonight. He called back and mil is in the background having a cry baby fit about it. My car is overheating, and he says well you just take him. Mind you if I break down Im screwed. But screw me right? My dh says when hes at work people are taking advantage of me, and to tell them no, or to talk to him. I have been but it doesnt help. This is more a vent then anything else, but how would you handle this>?
More info my son is high functioning autistic so once he gets his mind on something he has to get it out or done. I dont let him use it as a crutch & try to be understanding, but in this case I feel he is wrong and manipulating me.


Asked by gemgem at 4:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 42 (148,630 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • He is s typical teenager . .. .testing the limits . . .seeing what he can get away with. You are not over-reacting, you are right on! You have better instinct than alot of parents who give into these teenage "take a mile" incidents. Trust them. It is in his best interest, at this age, to learn some independence and responsibility.

    You go, mama!

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • He bought a Camero, she got a La Sabre. He wants a sports car. We did offer to help him get a reliable car, not a sports car. Since he wanted the sports car he is paying for it on his own. And it was apples and oranges since he said he didnt need or want our help.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 4:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I think that sucks - sucks that your husband didn't stand ground with you - you were being MORE Than fair as I bought my own at 16 for $2500 and made payments along with my own insurance with my job where i Made less than that and still did it - if he has NO MONEY, where is his paycheck money going to?? he should be THANKING you - not mad at you for all the help you've already done for him..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 4:38 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • He is spending it on his cell phone, girlfriend, friends, movies, pizza, and all of that. I got on him because he spent over $100 dollars on his gf for valentines day and now here we are Feb 25th and he has no money. I told him his insurance is going to be $150 to start then $145 a month and he cant go around spending money like that. He is also my dh's stepson but his biodad never comes around which is why I think dh does so much for him.

    Comment by gemgem (original poster) at 4:41 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • If he doesn't have a car, he doesn't have a car. His problem, not yours. Stand your ground.
    You giving your daughter a car is not the same. Life isn't always fair, your son needs to realize that. He knew the car needed work when he got it. He shouldn't expect you to pay for what he wants out of life.

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:10 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • IMHO...whether you gave your daughter a car because she was pregnant or not it's not fair to not do it for the boys...would you have given them cars if they went out and got 2 girls pregnant for the same reason?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Your over reacting and what he chooses to spend his money on is none of your busniess trust he will make the right decisons if not thats his problem why are you making it yours? Let your dh do as he pleases

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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