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Divorce advice.

If your husband is willing to give you whatever you want out of the divorce, paid a lawyer to draw papers and send them, would it still be wise to get a lawyer yourself?

My husband and I are pretty settled on what we want out of our divorce. He told me this past weekend that the papers are on the way but, he is not sure what all will come to me and to still read them very carefully. We agreed the children go to me (even his lawyer advised it) and child support. I dont have the money for a lawyer and I dont want to drag it out.

Advice welcomed :)

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Asked by CandyHorse at 7:21 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,309 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I just hope you are not settling on the child support he is putting down in the divorce papers. If you had a lawyer it would go based on his income. Not what he is willing to pay.


    Answer by louise2 at 7:26 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • It is worth it to have a lawyer representing you look at the paperwork. Ask if you can pay on a payment plan. Don't be penny wise and pound foolish.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:29 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I am going to ask around. he said we could just use his lawyer to draw the papers and represent us both in court. He is paying me support now and its not court ordered so...he told me there should be paperwork to put my income on and the kids' daycare fees, too. that way, they can do one set amount :)

    Comment by CandyHorse (original poster) at 7:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Honestly, if you two are able to mediate, then there is no reason for an attorney. You simply need to make sure that you understand what is being ordered. Its sad that more couples can't be adults and do it this way. Kudos.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Good for you, sounds like you two have got it figured out and are being responsible adults. There is no reason to be petty when both parties are trying to come to a resolve.
    I can't tell you how encouraging it is to see that people actually do this, after what my ex put me through- and what my so's ex put him through... She refused to mediate, even though he had been paying unordered support since the day she left, he bought her a car for school/work (even paid out of pocket for insurance and all of the maintenance so the kids would be safe), but when it came down to actually going to court she was convinced that he was trying to screw her *shakes head*. Long story short, she actually would have gotten more if she had agreed upon his offer (which included everything but the shirt off of his back).

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:50 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • There are paralegals with businesses that do things a LOT cheaper than attorneys. Maybe he will pay for them to look at your paperwork. My divorce only cost $500 where atttorneys started at $2500. It's worth having them look at it, trust me.

    Answer by Kimimale at 7:56 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I would make sure you read every single word. Good luck!!!

    Answer by KellyOh72 at 9:05 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I would read them thoroughly, and possibly ask an attorney to read them over as well. Just because he is playing nice to your face does not mean there is something in there that he does not want you realizing. Not saying that is the case, but it doesn't hurt to be careful and thorough. Glad you two are behaving like adults about the whole thing, too. There are way too many bitter and drawn out divorces already! I never understood why my own mother was so petty and backhanded about the way she handled her own, and she's done 2, both in the same childish manner!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:09 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • When mt husband and i got divorced i didnt get a lawyer I just signed the papers and gave everything to him even though we lost our home through it. We had a piece of property and I signed it over to him. And as for child support we never did that we always did everything half and half like for school clothes, doctor bills and anything else they needed. We are best friends and talk all the time because we love our children. We just lost our 19 year old son and we go to counseling together. If it isnt a bitter divorce and you trust him I wouldnt pay for a lawyer.

    Answer by shiffy2 at 7:49 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • If you agree on everything, you should be able to mediate. But just remember that there is a support calculator and they will figure out the sum paid out based on incomes, health insurance and childcare costs.

    Answer by rio_burb at 8:44 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

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