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I feel like im just the back up

i have been friends with this guy for over a year. we go to college together and he is going for the same degree so we have the same classes, and have had the same classes since we started college. i ended up liking him more than i had planned. a few months ago i confided to a mutual friend and she went a head and told him. he then later talked to me about what she had said and he told me that he liked me more than a friend but didnt want to go that far just yet. after being prodded by my friend i went ahead and told him exactly how i felt. when he is single he acts like he is interested. making suggestive comments and calling/texting all the time. he just recently started going with a new woman. this time i decided to back off and stopped texting and callin. and today during class i didnt say much to him, mostly because i felt like crap and had other things on my mind. he called me a little while ago askin me wht my problem was and asked why i stopped textin and calling. i told him i didnt want to interfer with the new gf for one and also when i got home from school i took a nap being i wasnt feeling good. he then responded with im at work i gotta go bye. so on top of being hurt by him more-less leading me on, im confused on wht his intentions are. im not sure wht to do anymore, i want to be his friend but cant stnd it when he goes on and on about his latest fling. oh by the way i never slept with. i wont do anything with anyone without being in a relationship first....


Asked by Anonymous at 7:35 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • =[ first, ive no explanation for his behavior other than the guy's a douche. please forgive the man-bashing, right now all men are scum to me lol second, girly i suggest you do what you've been doing and just stay away for a bit. make him come to you. obviously he knows you will be there for him no matter what but he needs to realize he's taking that for granted. you are young & deserve to invest your time in someone who wants to invest theirs in you. my best friend used to do that to me, act like he was interested in me as more than friends but as soon as he got a new gf its as if i never existed. when i started dating again he was hurt because i didnt want to be in a relationship with him but i let him know that i got tired of waiting around and being his back up. cuz that is exactly what it felt like. he's still my best friend but he knows we could have been more had he stepped it up. hope things work out for you. =]

    Answer by 3MunKeezMommy at 7:46 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Leave him alone. That is not the type of guy you would want to be with. Trust me! been there

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Focus on being "fab". Find Another Boy. It is so not worth the time and effort you are putting into something that seems like nothing. Everyone puts way too much emphasis on txt msgs and IM. It is just letters on a screen that bounce around in the cosmos. Action. Actions are indicative of people's thoughts. And when you are looking for another guy, you might want to shop around for some new gal pals, because that chicky that blabbed, she probably caused some of the tension. What are we 12-yrs-old? "Oh, Jason, April likkkkkeees youuuuuuu." If you don't have any new gal pals, just treat them with new rules when you find your next guy, and don't be in a rush to introduce Mr. New to them either.   Best wishes :)


    Answer by jdjamm at 7:55 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Ask him what his intentions are and if he is playing the field now and not ready for a long term relationship then he needs to tell you that. Meanwhile I'd be checking out other guys

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:41 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • He doesn't call you? Sounds like you are the one keeping the realtionship going. And, if he's dating other women, let it go. Save yourself for the "right" one. If he cared for you, he wouldn't talk about his flings with you. He's not ready for a steady relationship with one woman. Back off and see if he comes around at a later time.

    Answer by Kimimale at 7:43 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Sounds like a tool. Just focus on getting your degree.

    Answer by erinwhitt at 7:59 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • just focus on school, if he really wants something with you it will work out

    Answer by Jssg1986 at 8:28 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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