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The best way to handle a first time runaway, who turned herself in.

My twelve year old called me and told me where she was at after i already took off and went to look for her at her school.she was only gone for about an hour, and i found her at the corner store. if she hadn't called me though i never would have found her on my own,she was less than 5 blocks away....

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (14)
  • I would talk to her and find out why she did it. Let her know it's not okay, ground her but not to severely and let her know how dangerous it is out there.
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 7:56 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • How many days was she gone. If not to many nights and this is her first offense I would ask her why she ran away and if anything is going on youu need to know about. One of my friends daughters ran away at 15 for a week and she called her mom the mom had police meet her and she had to spend the night in detention. Try and see what is going on with her.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 7:57 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Sit down with her and find out what is bothering her. Let her know what exactly could happen to her "out there" . . . it is a very scary world. If something is really bothering her, enroll her in some counseling.

    Hugs.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:57 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I would find out why she did it. I think depending on what she said would determine my punishment for her. I also would make sure she knows that i am there for her and that she can tell me anything. Kids have such a hard time at this age and the thought of going to their parents is the last thing they want to do. Even if they are in trouble they are afraid to get in trouble or to disappoint their parents.


    Good Luck!

    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:59 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Well the fact she called and told you where she was is a sign she wants to come home. She may have been frustrated and made the wrong decision, but she had enough sense to admit her mistake and call you to come get her. That's huge. I'd have a talk with her, find out why she felt she had to leave. Let her know although her behavior is not ok, and running away is never the solution, you are still proud she made the call to come home. Let her know she's loved and wanted. And make the punishment fit the crime. Running away isn't ok, so there should be a punishment, but too over the top and next time she's probably not going to call.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 8:00 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Depends on the situation. WHY did she feel that running away would help anything?
    How long was she gone?
    What other things have been going on?

    I think running away at that age- or threatening it is kinda normal...at least it was with my kids. I never punished them for it- we TALKED it out
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:04 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I discussed the situation, made them think about it and let me know what they think the punishment should be. Did you tell her how much it scared you, not knowing where she was??? Set rules, make her adhere to them. She doesn't go anyplace without asking FIRST. If she does, there will be punishment.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 8:17 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Tell the police to hold her in a cell just to scare the heck out of her. You sit patiently at home, sip some coffee, and take your sweet time going to get her. I hope this never happen to me, but this is what I would do to assure it never happen again.
    ambr2006

    Answer by ambr2006 at 8:23 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Let things calm down, then have a long talk with her. Maybe go out to lunch and sit across from each other. Just listen to her. Ask what made her go, and what will she do next time.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 12:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I would tell her I love her, I'm scared, and that we both need some help. Then I would call a therapist to scedule an appoitment for counseling. Then I would do a couple of things: if she has a cell phone it is gone. She will have an adult or sitter with her at all times. And social life is to be limited for now. Hopefully counseling will be our biggest help.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

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