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Did you really "think about what you did"?

I remember being younger, I was constantly sent to my room and told to think about what I did. Depending on age the room stay lasted a few minutes to days, however I don't ever remember actually thinking about what I did. I can't remember under age 5, but I can remember being in kindergarden. I had a magnet letter board in my room, and anytime I was sent there to "think" I just pulled out my letter bored and played. As I got older I read a book, listened to music, wrote in my journal, slept, or watched tv. But I never actually contemplated what I had done. I still hear parents say to their kids "go to your room and think about what you've done for awhile." Does anyone really believe/expect their child is following through on this, or is it just something we say to get them into their room? I'll send my 5 year old to his room to calm down if he's out of control, but its not used as a punishment because he has too many toys in there. If I want punishment he sits in the corner in time-out. Letting him play in his room gives me time to calm down, and him forced quiet time. I'm fully aware if I told him to think about his actions he'd go right into playing with cars and have no thought other then cars what so ever. What about you ladies? Did you think while in your rooms as a child/teen? Do you expect your kids to think about what they did while in their rooms now? Or is it more for keeping the peace and one's thoughts aren't fussed over.

 
ba13ygrl1987

Asked by ba13ygrl1987 at 8:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • I thought about how unfair or mean my parents were but no I never thought about what I actually did. Most of the time it was bs as my parents were overly strict. I would never expect my child to actually think about what they had done as most likely they have already forgotten why they are in trouble. I mean at least until they were 13 or so and then I would not send them to their room to think!
    mslksdh

    Answer by mslksdh at 8:31 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I dont remember ever being sent to my room to think about what I did. Mom used a chair in the corner and that worked prettty good. I dont think Ive ever used that with my kids either b/c of what worked when I was growing up. Anything was better then being sent to that corner to stare at a wall. lol
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 8:32 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I did that to my kids and grandkids, but we had discussion afterwards. If they have to sit in a chair and think, they did. If he just plays in time out, make him sit where you can see him. One minute per years of his age. And, the kids had to tell me what punishment they thought I should impose on them. Sometimes they were a lot harsher on themselves than I would have been. (lol) But I never made them do punishment harder than I thought they should have. We discussed what they did and what could have happened or what could have gotten broke, etc.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 8:35 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Oh he sits in a corner for time-out, he's allowed to play in his room. I don't like the idea of a bedroom being punishment anyways, we have a time-out spot. I was just merely commenting on how I think the notion of "think about what you did" is silly. Just in my opinion, I've never known anyone who, adult or child, actually thought about what they did. As the first responder wrote if anything I thought about how unfair I thought my mother was, not of my guilt or lack there of.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Comment by ba13ygrl1987 (original poster) at 8:48 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Its funny looking back, i can only remember once being sent to my room. I dont remember why, but i know that I felt that no one cared about me or wanted to listen to me. I was about 8 i went out the second floor window of our brownstone and went down stairs to get my friend to sit in the back yard. hour later i went back in the window sat on my bed and in walked my mother. to tell me she was sorry that my step father got so mad at me. it was the only time he had spanked me and put me in my room, he never touched me or yelled at me ever again. but he cheated on my mom and left her with my two sisters when i was 19. what kind of lesson is that? I guess what iam saying is that, if you want your children to remember the lesson, you actually have to make the punishment fit the crime. Parenting takes work. creative, controlled planning. otherwise they remember that you chose the wrong step dad, and not the life lesson you hoped.
    luckyme13

    Answer by luckyme13 at 9:14 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I was never sent to my room for getting into trouble.. I got talked to/yelled at/spanked. My mom never did the corner & I think i was grounded once in highschool.. but thats it..
    At times i will use the corner & tell her to think about it.. but afterward we always have a talk-which usually starts with asking why she was sent in the corner.. or did she think about what she did wrong..and what she could have done (or not done)..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 9:24 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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