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How do i tell my hubby that his late coming bothers me?

My hubby and I have fought over this plenty of times. He has these after work limes that start at 4 and finish after 10 or later. He ALWAYS tells me don't worry he won't stay that long, he'll be home by seven or whatever but he never does. I don't want to continue to nag, because it used to be much worse. He used to stay out until the next day, we seperated and he straightened out and now he doesn't stay out to late and it isn't often as before. But we recently moved to an apartment right upstairs from my family ( we used to live with them before) so we're kind of on our own now, and I hate being alone. I love in a country in the caribbean and crime is horrible and I'm always afraid. I don't ant him to feel suffocated, he works hard and I know he needs some time every now and then. But I don't understand why a few hours isn't enough! Why can't he stick to a time???

Answer Question
 
gutterflower585

Asked by gutterflower585 at 9:09 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,406 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • If you can find a copy of BOUNDARIES IN MARRIAGE by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, get it and read it. There are some suggestions in the book that will help you with this problem.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:11 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Maybe you can tell him how scared and lonely you are. Maybe, the two of you can schedule i time a week for him to have his time . . . that would be predictable, at least.

    And, if you need to have time, then you should schedule one time a week, as well.

    Personally speaking . . . my husband works so much that I wouldn't find it acceptable for him to choose to socialize instead of come home. Our family time is so limited, anyway.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 9:25 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I could have written this. My DH used to do this. He would not come home until the wee hours of the morning and once even stayed out until 4:30 a.m. ignoring my calls. He would leave work early to go party, he would leave work immediately after he clocked out to go party, he'd even lie about where he was. I know that because I finally checked up on him. I still don't know what he was up to. Even now he stumbles when I asked him about it, for some reason thinking he'd be honest. After the 4:30 incident I told him that our son and I were leaving and we'd hash it all out in court because after 2 1/2 years I was done. He said he didn't want us to go, unloaded a lot to me and I stayed. It's been good and bad but he hadn't changed completely. I wish I had better advice but if your husband is hanging out this many hours, it's immaturity and short of another separation, he is not likely to change. I know it's hard. I'm sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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