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2 Bumps

Headed for divorce...

Married at 18...still in love... after 8 years but I feel as if I never got the chance to figure out who I was and he never got to know who he was, before we became an "us". Is my marriage headed for divorce? I'm in school he's in school we have 2 kids...it's a mess emotionally because we are growing up along with each other from boy and girl to man and woman.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • depends.. I suppose on you. only you can decide what you want to do. You can grow together and change who you are without getting divorced. Two kids is a good incentive.
    Camilletnt

    Answer by Camilletnt at 9:47 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I don't think questions like "what did I possibly miss" should ever play a part in thinking of a divorce. You have kids together. You will be attached to each other in some shape or form till you die. I think it's normal to wonder about things but I don't think it's a reason to get divorced. Keep growing together even if that means you both explore some interests on your own. Marriage changes over the years but it's not necessarily bad. It sounds like y'all are stressed to the max. Figure out how to make time for just you and him alone even if only for a few hours. Dont give up. I think ur just stressed and tired and wondering what's out there. You didn't say he'd done anything wrong....there's a good reason too. =)
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 9:59 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Really want to know who you are? Stick it out and see what happens. I have been with my husband since I was 18, married him at 22, bought a home and had a child at 23, another at 27... he worked full time and picked up some extra work here and there, and we scraped to get by so that I could stay home to raise the boys until they were both in school. No doubt, we have had our issues... and was ready to walk a couple of times... but after nearly 21 years... what can I say? though there are times I'd like to ring his neck, I love my boo! You get into wondering if life could be different... you might just find out that life had already offered you the best.
    ShariY

    Answer by ShariY at 9:59 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I agree with renta mom
    Unique11

    Answer by Unique11 at 10:02 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Finding out who you are has nothing to do with whether you're in a relationship or not. It has to do with you personally taking the time to discover the likes/dislikes, habits, quirks, etc of yourself. That can be done through being in a relationship, having children, and simply finding new hobbies along the way. Whether your marriage works out has nothing to do with how young you got married or when you decided to have kids. It has to do with whether you two are willing to stand up TOGETHER against it all and move through it together. Finding out who you are can honestly be easier with someone at your side. You have them to say "Hey, this is how I see you" and to help you see what you aren't or are through what they aren't or are.

    Again, the marriage isn't based on how young you got married, when you had kids, or any of that. It's a relationship just like any other and it'll work out or not depending on both of you.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:02 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I was married at 18 and that was more than 46 years, 3 children, and 6 grandchildren ago. You just learn to have fun together, and divorced or not, you cannot go back and reclaim those years, so you may as well make the best of it and keep your family intact.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:06 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • It doesn't have to head to divorce court. Just talk with him and set goals.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:11 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Roll with the changes except each other. Talk it over and work it out. You are partners in parenthood. Talk about where you see the future headed and make plans.
    chgomom

    Answer by chgomom at 10:13 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • If you're still in love there is hope to work things out, I've been with my husband since I was 14. My sister has been with her husband since they were 17, my best friend has been with her husband since we were 8! - from the moment they met they called each other boyfriend and girlfriend, then when we got older they really became boyfriend and girlfriend and at 20 they got married and are still in love.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I got married at 18, while I was still in highschool. We've been married for 7 years now. We have had ups and downs through the years but we are still very much in love. I think people give up way too easily sometimes.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 10:46 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

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