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6 Bumps

I am very hurt

I have a 3 year old and my husband's family isn't exactly giving her the same treatment as they do our son (3 months) well i said something to him about it and OF COURSE he sides with his family.... I am so sick of it.. I mean be a man and tell them when they are being total douche's. Then he calls me crazy and tells me she would be better off without me???????????????? Did he really just say that? I mean I can't keep being with someone who constantly talks to me horribly and it just gets worse when anything is said about his family.. Which btw I rarely say anything about.. and i can't stand them but i still dont say anything unless its about them treating her differently....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Sounds to me like you S/O needs to grow up and be a man and stop being a Mommys boy, if he can't take up for you and his family esp. your DD then you'll have to. Your DD will definately know she is being treated differently and will grow to resent him and his family, and her brother also, so I'd get it straightened out before it gets out of hand. It's so sad that it happens to so many kids when the 2nd child comes along and the one that isn't the father or mothers child gets crapped on. Tell your IL's if they can't treat the kids equal then they can stop coming to visit until they do, your not having your DD feelings hurt and it needs TO stop NOW.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Sounds like you either need to leave him or get couples counseling. Why continue to let him verbally abuse you? Do you want your daughter thinking it's okay for men to talk to her like that when she's older? Stand up and tell him if he continues to talk to you that way you'll be out that door. As for his family if he won't say anything then you do.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:18 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I would tell hubby that if he can't stand up for you then your not going to his families anymore with the kids and if he don't like that than too fuckin bad.
    What a jerk your husband is suppose to take up for you not be against you. I'm in your corner
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 11:20 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Your hubby should treat your kids the same as the kids your have together and his family should accept them as grandchildren the same. I am thankful that my SO's family has accepted both my children as grandchildren, neices, cousins,etc. They got christmas presents of equal amounts and carry their pictures in their wallets and brag just the same. I hope you can get to this point b/c it make your kids and you feel that much more comfortable to actually be part of a family.
    huntin_mama

    Answer by huntin_mama at 1:12 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • What would happen if you told them yourself? Personally, I think you would be better off without him. There are a lot of question on here about moms who have trouble with the DH's family because they treat the step kids different than the child you have together. I think it is sad. They just don't seem to realize that one day that child is going to see that they are being treated differently. Then they will ask you why. I mean, what are we really supposed to say? There is no way to say it in order to make it sound good. The child will suffer in the long run. I say, leave for the sake of your child.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:21 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • You are right in feeling bad about their behavior. Yr dh does not mean to be nasty... he is though, cause he feels you're accusing him and his family. It's a difficult situation, and their prejudice with your children may have serious effects in the characters of your kids
    "The Spoilt Vs. The Complainer".
    Also, their relationship as siblings may be affected, and this is why you may need counceling.

    If your kids were older, I'd say WORK HARD TO BRING THEM CLOSER AND CLOSER, TO MAKE HIS FAMILY FEEL THEY'RE WRONG.
    Now you need some outside support like GOOD FRIENDS or Counseling, cause they're too many against you and your child.

    I am really sorry, it's unfair.
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 3:05 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I would tell dh's family quite bluntly that if they couldn't treat both children the same then they weren't going to see either of them! And hold to your statement. As for dh, he needs to come to his senses and apologize.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 3:09 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I have heard it said that it takes a special person to treat a child not their own as though it is their own. Some people are just like that, and I've seen it. If he's a douche, then perhaps moving on with your life without him would be something to consider? It's hard enough if it's his family, but your oldest can't be growing up thinking and feeling she is inferior to your youngest, and vice verse, which would be pretty hard to avoid, it seems if he's behaving like his family.
    Maybe some good counseling would do you all some good, because if he's acting that way, he's certainly not acting in the best interests of the children.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 11:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • He said your DD would be better off without? She wouldn't be here without you!!!! Unless that was a typo and you meant "he" instead of "she" but either way, I think you need to leave him, you can't let your DD be treated like that
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:27 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I'd definitely say something as well- it's not fair to treat the kids differently, and if they couldn't treat them the same, they wouldn't be seeing my kids at all. Keep them away for a while and see what they(including DH) have to say about that.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 7:52 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

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