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So yesterday I reported a mother to CPS...

I just wrote up a statement with my boss and sent it in. Her daughter will be at my program on Monday. This is going to be so awkward. :( eep. Issue is I have to do parent meetings but I am wondering if me not attending hers, and just letting my partner do it solo, would be too telling. I don't care to speak to this woman, since I have seen what I have seen, I love my kids(the kids I work with) too much to be chummy with their abuser.Reporting a parent to CPS is not something I take lightly, this is the 1st time I have had to do this for any child. When I met with one of the social workers I cried, and I'm not a crier.

idk exactly what I am asking. Maybe some guidance on how to deal with the mom in the future? Maybe some guidance on how to pull it together for the kids.

good thing is that I have the weekend

also....something that the social worker said kind of touched me. (by the way I work with this social worker every day, this is not the CPS social worker) anyway, she said I have this intuitive response because of my own past.

I knew that this particular student had been abused before I ever reported anything or saw anything. Her behavior with me vs her behavior with her mom, or when her mom was around, plus her demeanor gave it away. The way she is reminds me of a little me. How I used to be when I was being abused. I +decided to ignore the behavioural evidence for a one day and then when I was at a place I normally wasnt, in location, I got to sit front row to the most repulsive parenting ever, and I was crying because I didn't report my first suspision, I waited for evidence, and I shouldn't have. :( I just feel like I could have saved her a day or two of abuse by acting on instinct...idk...this just brings anger and sadness all at once...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Feb. 25, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Think of it this way- you stood up for a child and there is a good possibility that no one else would have if you didn't. So, you might have saved this kid from a lot of unnecessary stress and abuse! Good for you, Mama!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 7:43 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Don''t feel bad teachers have to report as well. I have only had to do it 3 times. And I say only because it could have been a lot more at times. Sadly not giving a shit about how your kid does in school isn't child abuse, just bad parenting.
    Iamasinglemom99

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 2:06 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • It sounds like you went with your gut. Good job Mama!
    mommytoJames512

    Answer by mommytoJames512 at 11:44 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • I'm not all about reporting other parents to CPS, mostly because a lot of moms are too quick to say another is a bad parent. You are being vary vague, but it sounds like you made the right choice. You can blame yourself for being a few days late. You would be in a whole nother situation if you hadn't waiting for evidence and had been wrong. Don't do the parent meeting if you don't have too. You do not need to put yourself through that emotionately either. Have your partner do it and make an excuse if the parent wonders (meeting, conference call, sick, etc). Anger and Sadness are normal, but maybe feel some of the happiness that comes with helping a child.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 11:48 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • You did the right thing...don't be so hard on yourself...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 11:49 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Who cares if she knows it was you? You don't get to abuse kids and go around like everything is fine. If you have to work with her in the future let HER be the one to drop out. If she's upset that you did it then let her be upset, you did the right thing. I'm not a confrontational person either, but let HER field this ball. You don't have to be chummy, you just do your job and if she suspects or knows... let her. If it makes you more comfortable to let your partner take care of this one, then do it. Who cares if a child abuser knows who reported them? Let 'em.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:52 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • @ PP's thank you
    Sorry for being vague, I really don't want to relive details any more than I have to. Just know I am a mandated reporter and this is the only time I have ever reported anyone. Being a mandated reporter I have to report even on a suspision or I could lose my job, I have not had a suspison before this girl, on top of that, I had seen her in action, so there is no doubt in what I saw. And to give a little detail, the abuse was happening to the toddler, not my student but the sibling, and it was in public but she didnt realize I was there.
    @Ati_13
    I fully understand you on that one. The issue is that I can be very confrontational when I don't respect someone. I just want to avoid her because I have this weird mother instinct with all of my kids and my inner-badass will surface if I have to speak with her for too long.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:11 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • you did what you had to do and you did the right thing
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 1:09 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Don't be so hard on yourself. Just remind yourself that you are helping a child from not getting abused. As far as the students mother goes, you're not going to be able to avoid her. Instead, try to act normal. If she asks you why you're acting weird, just tell her you got a lot on your mind. You won't be lying. We all go through that at times. You did the right thing and that is what matters.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:12 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

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