Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

What should I Do?(TMI) adult content

So Sex with my DF used to be great catch that? USED to. now its like i can't wait till hes done. I constantly get dry and I can't seem to O anymore!! what is wrong with me!!?? I love him to death and I love having sex with him (ive only ever had sex with just him) But Idk there are still instances where it feels great but It still doesn't make me O. and me and him have been going through some problems. Hes been gone a lot and Wednesday was the first time we had sex in 3 weeks. and still NOTHING! I seriously feel like something is wrong with me. and He acts like its difficult for him to O to and like he just wants it to be done with so we can go to bed. Because of this im afraid our sex drive is going down and Sex is a healthy part of a relationship and Im afraid one day hes gonna walk away telling me it just doesn't feel the same (He's already done this once).. Anybody else have this problem before??


Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:00 AM on Feb. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • It sounds like the bad sex is a symptom of a deeper problem to me. You guys both need to talk openly about how you feel and get to the bottom of it... maybe counciling?

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:03 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I have tried talking to me he says he loves everything i do And i still love everything he does. and we've talked about counciling but we don't have the money for it..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:05 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • If your relationship is otherwise good and you feel close to him, talk about it, openly and honestly! Problems in the sex department are a normal part of a relationship. Over time, your libido fluctuates, as will his, depending on circumstances and cycles we all go through. The key is being honest. Tell him what you just told us: that you love him to bits, but sex isn't really "doing it" for you right now. Most likely this will pass. Might be weeks or months, but things will get back to normal. Just be aware his feelings may also change sometimes. I've been married 20 years and there have been years where the problem is I want it and he doesn't and there's been times he wants it and I don't. It's quite normal.

    Answer by judimary at 12:05 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Thank you so much! Im just afraid to talk to him about thinking he might get not mad but upset thinking hes not good enough.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:08 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Where you recently, put on any new medications ?

    This can cause, a problem---Anti-Depessants ?

    Also, some other medicaintion .

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 2:36 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Could you be tired of work + children, and sex happens when you're already tired ?
    I believe that dryness is not always related to age. It has to do with YOUR EXPECTATIONS
    of the "dessert" to follow.
    If you are tired, or if there's not much foreplay to stimulate you, maybe this is the reason for the dryness and lack of libido.

    OR, it could be that he's having a life crisis, like in his 40's or 50's, his libido is down anyway, and he's embarassed to talk to you.
    So, you take it personally, although it's his issue.
    Think about it, perhaps you should stop blaming yourself, don't accuse him or something, JUST RELAX AND BE INVENTIVE WITH SEXY LINGERIE, MUSIC, SOME WINE MAYBE, PERFUME ETC.


    Answer by lillyblue111 at 2:39 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Its great u could talk about it! His answer was awesome. Sounds to me maybe u guys r going thru one of those phases that we have in marriage. At times u may even feel ur not attracted to him or u don't like him anymore, but hang in there , it will pass. Since it sounds you both can speak openly i think you should try something new or different. You would b surprised how much something new will spark up those feelings of lust and desire. Plz try

    Answer by dmr73059 at 7:28 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Have you evaluated your nutrition? It could be that both of you are deficient in vitamins and minerals that affect sex drive and sexual response. More than 75% of Americans are deficient in these vitamins and minerals due to stress, caffiene intake, dehydration, sodium intake and an overprocessed diet.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 7:58 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Have you tried some of the new lubricants out there? Any good drugstore has them. It might be enough to make a difference.

    Answer by elizabr at 8:26 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • @lillyblue111- I know its not a mid life unless hes hiding something lol were only 18) Which is why its kinda freaking me out i know it seems young but we've been with eachother 4.5 years and and a 5 month break in between all that time. were getting married in May. The communications thing Just recently came into play meaning instead of just being mad or ignoring eachother we try to talk to eachother if were gonna be mad then were gonna walk away for a little while and try to talk again later. Id rather not fight or go to bed mad at him. I tried talking to him about this lastnight and asked him if it felt any different for him and he said no that he still loves it all and he still loves me regardless of if it was good or bad. he also said he would like to try new things. but he never said what. but i won't get to talk to him much until sunday when he's home. but Thank You all so much for your help.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:22 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Seriously depressed this week!!!

Next question overall (Pregnancy)