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2 Bumps

How do I get him to want me?

I am young and in love with my babys dad. I treat him so well, I cook, clean, and take care of our son. We have been on and off since 2006 and things have been rough for us. The only thing is, he comes home and goes straight to his brothers room to spend time with his friends then he will go and check on me instead of stop and spend time with me. Shouldnt I be the one he wants to be around. Hes hardly ever home because of work. Im lost.

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Precious12

Asked by Precious12 at 1:45 AM on Feb. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • If you have to work to get him, then you will forever be working to get him. It's a red flag when you have to work that hard for a guy. Don't sell yourself short. HE should be the one working for your attention....that's when you know things would be good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Awe im sorry but i think most men are all like tht to be honest lol have you tried talking to him and letting him kno how u truley feel? if not try becuz i find with my hubby thts the only way he even realizes wow i was being like tht or whatever or u need to go off and have u sum girl time since hes always doin tht with his buddys
    Ashley2810

    Answer by Ashley2810 at 1:54 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Why should he....?????

    You are letting him walk all over you?
    Are y'all not sleeping in the same bed ?

    GET RID OF HIM, and HIS BUDDIES TOO !!!!
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 1:54 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I would talk to him about it before making any decision. He may just be not thinking(obvious guy trait)
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:55 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • All relationships are work.  It's just a matter of how much is too much work.  I know married couples who just pass by each other, barely bother to talk and they have to work at that.  I know couples where the father isn't involved with the kids because he works and it causes tension and they have to work at that.  In my personal relationship me and My SO see each other so often that we clash and we have to work at that.


    You should voice your concerns to him.  Ask him his intentions about this relationship, if he wants it.  If not, work on getting yourself out of that house, if he does you need to voice to him what you want.  Even write it down and read it if you have to.

    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:55 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Thanks for the advice everyone, im going to let him know how i feel whenever he gets off.. (Whenever that is)
    Precious12

    Comment by Precious12 (original poster) at 2:01 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I feel that the more we try to please them, the more they take us for granted and seek fun and approval elsewere.
    Many women are brought up to seek the affection of the one we love, and it may have to do with our parents' relationship.

    It's human nature or RULES OF LOVE to chase the ones playing hard-to-get, and relax, loosen up with the convenient ones.
    Think of the guys that have flirted you : the more they insisted, the more you felt their value was less and less...

    Women are more emotional, especially after having children.
    We have to work HARD for our SELF ESTEEM, and if they don't respect us, WE SHOULD BE STRONG ENOUGH TO SHOW THEM IN ACTION, NOT WORDS OR NAGGING, THAT WE DESERVE RESPECT AND AFFECTION, AND WE'LL GET IT, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, BY THEM OR ...OTHERS.
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 2:08 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Not all men are like that. At least one of them. My DH is so sweet and gentle. He is not whooped either. He just genuine loves me. He will come check on me, but instead of rushing off he will talk to me ask me what im doing ect. That is the kind of relationship you are looking for, BUT DO NOT THINK IN A MILLION YEARS YOU CAN CHANGE THEM because frankly, it wont happen. I may have a good man but he has some bad habits tht I will never break him of. So if your man doesnt seem like he is all there sometimes it is best to let go and move on.
    proudmommy42008

    Answer by proudmommy42008 at 2:56 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Sounds like he doesn't appreciate you. :( The best way I can suggest to get him to start to take you and your relationship more seriously is to stop caring. I know it sounds backwards, but every guy I had wanting me to much I swore they crawled up my back end- were the guys I blew off. The ones I was too busy to spend time with or talk to. If you get yourself a hobby- and out of the house and not be so available to him or eager for 3 minutes of his precious time- he might realize how precious YOUR time is and make more of an effort. Reverse Psychology BABY! lol Seriously though- works like a charm :)
    SecretPsychic

    Answer by SecretPsychic at 4:53 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I totally understand you. However, through my struggles, and reading books I have learned that men need to have transitional or his time whenever he comes home from work. They do not like to hear the 'whatever' for the da,y as they walk in the front door. try giving him his space when he first gets home.Then have time for the two of you.  Find something to occupy yourself during that time and ACT LIKE YOU DO NOT MIND.  THE LEAST INTERESTED YOU SEEM, Or preoccupied with something, THE MORE interest he will show/have in you. Do not be overly attentive to him, or you will be taken for granted. 

    dmr73059

    Answer by dmr73059 at 6:50 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

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