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Me too, should i go to Mexico?

Well, I too, have a bf in Mexico. We were having problems and my bf hadn't seen his family in 15 years, so he decided to go back 'home'. Well, with expired paperwork he is unable to turn around and come back. Legally, it could take ten years for him to be able to return to US. We both are hurting and after him being gone for eight mo. were both miserable. He admits he made a TERRIBLE mistake when he left. We r going crazy. I am 51 yo and he tells me to wait for him, but i am afraid he wont make it back and i am wasting away waiting for false hopes. Should I spend money i really don't have to fly there and visit. I am bothered by the fact he did actually leave instead of trying to help me financially. I supported him for four years for the most part. I feel i cannot enjoy anything until i have him. I believe he really does love me and wants me. He is 14 yrs my junior and i love it.


Asked by dmr73059 at 7:18 AM on Feb. 26, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (841 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • 'I feel i cannot enjoy anything until i have him. '
    we've all felt that way at one point or another. I don't know much about your relationship, but it sounds like he can't come back anytime soon.
    sounds like this chapter is over and done. I wouldn't go and see him, I know it has to be terribly hard, but I say move on and start the process now. It may not seem like it, but there are other men out there.
    I felt the same way you did once upon a time, and I ended up meeting others and wondered why I ever thought my ex was so great.
    You can do this, but the sooner you start getting over him with clubs and actives the better off you'll be.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:37 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • nope.

    Answer by 3HappylKidds at 7:25 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • No. He should have been contributing to the household finances whan he was with you. He was free loading according to your post. And you say you can not afford to go. Stop letting him use you.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:33 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I think you are already wasting time and energy on him. Do NOT use money you don't have to go see him. He had to have known that he had expired paper work and for whatever reason-didn't do anything about it. I don't think it would be very bright to go and move there. I think you should stay where you are, break up with him, and find a real man who won't mooch off of you for years and then go back home and conveintly have expired paperwork.

    Answer by trelmix at 12:33 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Nope, don't go.

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 2:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • i know its going to hurt but if you cant afford it you shouldnt go

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 2:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • i wouldn't go, just move on even though it may hurt

    Answer by Jssg1986 at 2:25 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I can understand your position, but the way you describe things
    you've been the loving, giving person, and he was on the receiving end.
    Going back was his mistake, ok, let's say he missed his family.

    The issue is, you've been helping him for 4 years already, and the way things are,
    in the foreseeable future he won't be able to prove his love to you.

    Are you ready for this ?

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 5:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • What a sad story, I am so sorry, but i think with our silly laws here in the US it's going to be really hard for him to come back soon or at all. If you can't afford to fly there then don't go but if you can afford it go see him see what he's about and talk with him, and if it seems like he won't be able to come anytime soon, you need to move on even though it may be hard....Your here and he's does hurt.

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:18 PM on Feb. 26, 2011