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is this fair

k well the marine corps is ruining my marrage.my hubby has told me that if he satys in he thinks we will end up devorced within 10 years. but he wants 2 reenlist cuz he cant b truly happy doing anything else. when we got married and b4 we had a kid he said he was getting out. but he has now changed the plan. i dunno what 2 do . we have tryed everything 2 save r marrage . all i can think of now is 2 give him an untumatum and tell him its me of the mc. is that fair of me though. i know that i signed up for this but i dont think i can do it another 20 years

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Remmismommy

Asked by Remmismommy at 2:54 AM on Nov. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • he changed his mind and has decided to choose the marines instead of you. You went into this thinking he would get out like he said but now he has changed the situation...not you. I dont think I could be a military wife myself. I was active duty but to be the spouse...I don't think so.
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 3:09 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • oh and also it bothers me that he has already PREDICTED your divorce. Not good, sweetie. Not good.
    MammaMia72

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 3:11 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • wow being a marine wife myself my husband kinda told me the same thing. has he thought about reserves? my husband is reenlisting and he is doing that . being the wife of marine or any military isnt so great and it is what we signed up for . but do you really want to make him choose? if thats what makes him truly happy. i get where you are coming from b/c my dh loves the marine corps. and he feels thats whats best for him and us as a family.maybe hes thinking the same thing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:13 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • It sounds like he's trying to find a way out of the marriage no matter how you look at it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • You have to weigh it out, but telling him he has to chose is not the answer. YOU have to decide what you want in your life he has chosen MC which is a noble career but do you love him enough to stand by him and you be happy as a wife of soldier? If not then part ways, he would have told you the sky is green if he wanted to get you to marry him. He probably said you would end up divorced because he is afraid you aren't up to the challeng and is feeling you out to see if you plan to leave him, he is scared that is what will end up happening or he wouldn't have mentioned that to you.
    1countrygal

    Answer by 1countrygal at 8:40 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I was an Army wife for 5 years. Being a military spouse is hard and unfortunately there comes a point when their relationships with fellow soldiers/marines can interfere with your marraige. That happened to me, and I am now divorced. I was left after a 14 month deployment to Iraq with a phone call two weeks before homecoming. It's not fun... and to be honest with you if he's already predicting you'll be divorced, AND he's going back on decisions you guys made for your family, well... That doesn't look good.
    MamaChanny

    Answer by MamaChanny at 8:49 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I think an ultimatum will do you no good. The Marine corps cannot ruin your marriage unless you allow it to. If the man wants to re-enlist, I think you should support him in his decision and then do everything in your power to make him successful. Jobs are pretty hard to come by right now, so this could be a very wise move.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:15 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Well! I know how you feel! 100% When me and my husband got married he had a year left, and he was getting out... That was the plan. He did get out but not 4 months later he was back in the recruiter office. He was the most unhappy man to be around! I have never thought that I could do this life but im trying my hardest, It is very! hard to handel I have two kids and it makes this life hard! But if you love your husband which I don't doubt you do at all! Then talk to him and let him know how you feel, but don't make him choose, because this is his life, the military is hard but maybe he can get a none deploying unit, or depending on rank do his b billet so he will be home more. Just don't give up! if you ever need to talk im always around! take care girl.
    ShaunnaRose23

    Answer by ShaunnaRose23 at 1:15 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

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