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3 Bumps

Do you think it is wrong to be best friends with your ex-husband

My ex-husband and I have been good friends since our divorce and that has been 10 years ago. We have three children together and were always there for them. November we lost our middle child and we are always talking and we even started counseling together. There is nothing going on we are just close because we love our kids. I am afraid my husband now thinks something might be going on. What's your opinion. Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 AM on Feb. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • hhhmmmm thats a tough one i dont see how exs can just be friends because when your with some one its deep and intimate (not just talkin sexually) then when you go to friends its like a w k w a r d but thats just me... I dont see anything wrong with it though
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 8:44 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I am a little skeptical of my step mom who is very close to her ex-husband. Only because I'm really close to my dad and don't want him hurt.

    On the other hand I think it's a beautiful thing that you two have enough respect for the love you shared to not be bitter. Also shows that maybe it's perfectly safe with you two getting along. Usually love turns into hate when two can't be together, but since you two can be friends it might actually show that the love is gone and now it is mutual respect and friendship.

    I would be very sympathic to your husband, as if the roles were reverse, because no matter how much you love and trust someone - it's still a little nerve racking for him.

    I am very very sorry for your loss. I think counseling together is a good idea.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:46 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • idk if its wrong or right but Id ask myself if there arent some unresolved issues there. I have never had the need to be best friends with any of my ex's. I am friendly to them, but more frenemies then anything else. My husband is very understanding that I have to talk to my ex's because we have kids together but still gets jealous.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 9:04 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I think that it is lovely, especially for your children
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:09 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Sounds like you feel a little guilty---is your present dh included in these sessions? He must be experiencing grief too. Make sure you are sharing with him what is going on and you might not have to worry about it. Make sure you keep those lines of communication open with both. And I am glad that you remain friends with your children's father----he will always be your father and I too often see kids suffering because of the fighting still going on with their separate parents.
    lecates

    Answer by lecates at 10:40 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Sorry for your loss :(  To answer your question, no, not wrong.  In fact it's good.  The kids should always come first.  I hate jealous new wives.

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 10:54 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • There's nothing wrong with your closeness but make it clear you are not interested in starting anything up again. I am so sorry for your loss.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 11:16 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • If it is causing problems for your husband maybe have him come to a few of the sessions too. I think it is great you are friends with your ex. It is good for the kids to see you two able to be friends and be nice to each other. I am verry sorry for your loss. In times like this even if you are not together you should be able to help each other through such a hard thing.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 11:35 AM on Feb. 26, 2011

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