• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I dont have step children only married once so i dont have first hand knowledge on the subject but..

I here on this and other places how someone gets married and thier spouse comes between them and the kids and how mean and selfish the step parent is....my question is  would that not be the birth parents fault no matter what  i would never let any one come between me and my kids and if they cared enough they would never neglect thier kids what do you say?

Answer Question
 
peace013

Asked by peace013 at 12:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 22 (13,054 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I agree but if you have never had to deal with the situation you shouldn't worry about it or get involved in it because you don't know what its like.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 12:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • My Husband is our boys Stepfather, and they all call him "Dad" by their choice, and they have a wonderful relationship with him. He's awesome with our boys, and treats them as they are his own... There are "biofathers" that don't deserve to be called Dad, so I think before you generalize all step families, or fathers, you should take a look at the big picture. Not all families are the same, whether it's a step Mom, or Step Dad. I sooo agree with aheuszel as well, if you haven't lived it, then you shouldn't worry about it. Just sayin!
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:44 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • You know what aheuzel you dont need to be such s shrew either and if people cant ask questions on here then they should just close down the site.
    peace013

    Comment by peace013 (original poster) at 1:11 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Also then you shouldn't feel up this site with questions aboutr who is wrong all the time and ask people thier opioions and i am so sorry that i managed to stay married to one guy and have children only with him.
    peace013

    Comment by peace013 (original poster) at 1:14 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I agree that it's the bio parents job to not let anyone interfere with thier relationship with thier child.

    But, both of your replies seem a little harsh. It's not over the top to let you know that you don't really know until you are in that position. I also don't know what marrying one man & having children with only that man has to do with anything. Many SM's fit that description.
    BubbaLuva

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 1:36 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • There is no way a new wife or husband can come between the non custodial parent unless the parent allows it. I lived it my dad blamed his new wife for the fact he quit sending child support and didn't visit us. I told my dad when I was 15 his lies needed to stop he is the one who made the choice to stay with someone who hated his kids and didn't want us around. He made a choice to not be with us she didn't hold a gun to his head.

    FricknFrack

    Answer by FricknFrack at 3:56 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Thank you FricknFrack thats what i was getting at but the other people just wanted to be rude I was just saying that I have no experiance personaly but im always hearing on hear how it is someone elses fault that they don't see thier kids and that is a cop out and im sure being married only once doesnt i was just saying what my situation was I now understand why some people are leaving this site all I did was ask a question and people came on hear in just a minute or two to tell me that its none of my business and i say don't bring it up and i wont ask questions about it.
    peace013

    Comment by peace013 (original poster) at 4:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • The goal here is for the child to be nurtured and loved.

    The BIO PARENTS have a priority for sure, unless, one of them is not really acting as a proper parent.
    I this case, the child can understand who's by their side, and if the new parent is more caring and loving,
    the child itself will shift his / her affection towards the new parent.

    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 4:40 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I wasn't trying to be a shrew and I said I agreed with you but you don't know what its like to have step children or an ex wife and hopefully you and your family never have to go through a separation to find out, but unless you've been there and experienced that you will never truly know. That's the only point I was trying to make. Definitely not trying to be rude.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 5:38 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I to have also managed to stay married to the same man for 8 years now and have 2 amazing boys with him and a little girl on the way and one wonderful step son that we have custody of.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 5:42 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.