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How can i get rid of the hurt guilty feelling?

well if any of you remember i posted last week about the trouble i was having with my sixteen year old son and that we had talked about him going and staying with his dad hoping maybe that would help with his attitude and so on. well he left today to go live with his dad. i cried the whole way going to drop him off,i cried the whole way home and now it just keeps coming and going. how can i get rid of this feeling that i have made a big mistake and the fact that im so sad right now i start crying at the drop of a hat. i did this hoping that it would help him. he is going to come home every other weekend so i am not abandoning him but why do i feel like i have?

 
jodi205

Asked by jodi205 at 2:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (4,145 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I think any mother has trouble letting go.. even if its on good terms. My mom cried the day I left for college, she cried the day I moved out, and she cried the day I got married and to this day I live 1 mile away from her and she still feels lonely if we dont visit. Now I am a mother of 2 small girls and if I have to run an errand for a few hours I feel so bad about leaving them with their grandparents that I turn around and pick them back up. Youre doing what you feel is best, this doesnt mean you fail as a mother, that just means your heart is too big and youre not ready to let go. Keep your head up and things will be fine, just take it one day at a time!! :D
    navajomama7

    Answer by navajomama7 at 2:09 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Jodi youre not a failure, you did what every mother does and that is "Whats is best for their child." keep your head up.. your son will come back to you and you will always be his mother, nothing can change that.
    navajomama7

    Answer by navajomama7 at 3:15 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • thanks navajo but that is exactly how i feel like a failure.
    jodi205

    Comment by jodi205 (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • well said navajo!
    anichols1

    Answer by anichols1 at 2:14 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Sometimes you need to do something like this. My mom sent my sister (when she was 15) to live with our father as she and my sis fought all the time. My mother cried for days non stop and on and off for months. I think what you are feeling is normal.

    I would like to ask you to see someone that can help you work through these feelings. I see from your profile that you have other children. While what you are feeling is normal, you don't want it to affect your other kids. I know that I felt like I didn't mean as much to my mother because all she did was cry about my sister. As an adult and a mother, I understand NOW what she was feeling, but back then, it really, really bothered me and left me feeling bad about myself.

    Just keep telling yourself, you are NOT a bad mother. I don't think you did anything wrong.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Momma, you were thinking and acting in his best interest because you want the best for him. Keep that in mind, because hurting your heart so badly to try to do best by him deserves big pats on the back.
    Besides, if it doesn't work out as planned, he can always come home and you can try something different.

    As for making that heartache stop and those tears stop flowing, well... All I know is that you're feeling this way right now because you're a good mother who loves her son so much it hurts.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 2:54 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I know its hard I feel for you. You are doing what you think is right & may work to help your son. You are not abandoning him. Its Dad's turn to try & help him & turn him around. Your feelings are normal & Motherly, you feel a sense of loss and failure but you are not. Keep strong, your son still loves YOU.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 3:16 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

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