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2 Bumps

Should a teenaged mom date?

I have a friend who's sister is 17 years old and has an 8 month old. Before she got pregnant, she was a wild teen but since she got pregnant, she did a 180, she is now a straight A student who in additon to high school takes 2 college classes a semester she should be a junior but she is set to graduate this year because the college classes she takes also count for high school credit. She works in a daycare and while she lives with her parents, she provides everything her dd needs (day care she get for free since she works there for when she is in school, diapers, clothes ect). She met a guy a few months ago and they have started dating. It seems everyone is getting bent out of shape about it, I think it is fine. People are saying she needs to get her life together before she starts dating, so what she can't date till her mid 20s? Meanwhile, her 15 year old sister is allowed to date. I understand that she has a child and has more responsiblity then the normal 17 year old but she is still doing everything she should while dating so I don't see the problem. Her boyfriend understands that her child has to come first and is fine with that.

Answer Question
 
JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 10:03 PM on Feb. 26, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Dating as in casually,sure
    getting serious,not so much.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:05 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Being a teenage mom can be difficult in itself, but knowing that this girl has changed her life, hopefully she has decided to make better choices...I know this being a teenage mom myself, I'm now 26. But as long as she is very decisive about who she is hanging around and who is in her child's life, then I see no problem with it. Sometimes you just need companionship....but you need to be able to be responsible enough not to repeat certain choices.....good luck to her!! being a single mom isn't easy, but it helps to have friends :)
    katieandchris01

    Answer by katieandchris01 at 10:08 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I don't see why not as long as she isn't dumping her child on someone else to take care of while she is going out. She should be providing a babysitter... paying one, not expecting her parents to take care of her child while she is out running around.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 10:08 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • She doesn't dump her off at all. They go out once a week usually I babysit (because I want to, I love her so much so is such a good baby). I won't let her pay me but she always brings pizza and dessert for me and my family as "payment" so I can't say no (who can say no to pizza and dessert? lol)
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 10:11 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Well, I look at it like this: If she's taking care of her baby, why shouldn't she go on dates? Don't other single mothers who take care of their kids go on dates, also? Just because she's a teenage mom doesn't mean her life has to come to a screeching halt so long as baby is coming first in her life. (such as the job, providing for baby, making good grades to use towards making a better life for them both...)

    In other words, I don't see the problem.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 10:11 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • Of course she should date! Just like how any "grown up" single mom has the right to date! Of course she should know the consequences of not being careful and I would assume that she would be more responsible about that now... but by all means, she should have a life and she should find the right man!
    AdensMama0308

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 10:13 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • imo she obviously wasn't responsible the first time around, now she should just get on her feet. When she is living in her own apartment/home, paying her own rent, and really doing everything and providing everything she can see if she can fit in dating. But IMO she needs to be working to be independent and as long as she is under her parents roof, her parents rules
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:14 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • why shouldn't she... that's like saying every single mother shouldn't date. From What I read she isn't some party girl having everyone take care of her baby. She sounds like a great mom, even tho she is young!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:21 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I have no idea Why everyone would be getting bent out of shape b/c she wants to date- it sounds like she is trying really hard to be a Great Mommy:) i am glad she has You on her side!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 10:30 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

  • I would possibly advise her to keep it more as friends with this guy until she graduates. Yes, she is doing everything she should be. Yes, she has turned her life around. And i would awknowledge that, but let her know that i just want to be sure she does the best she can, not only for her, but her DD. If she really likes the guy, and he likes her, they can wait until after graduation. Im sure that the last time she dated, she didnt plan on becoming pregnant. And im not trying to say anything bad about her, you, or baby. So, sorry if it sounds like that. Im just saying, things happen, and im sure she knows that now that she is a single mom. And before getting into another relationship, she should be focusing on school, herself, the baby, graduation, and her plans after that. Its not just dating anymore, she has to think about how many guys she wants her DD seeing mommy bring around, and at that age, it rarely lasts. IMHO
    GL
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 10:44 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

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