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How do I unspoil my 4 month old?

When my baby was born the doctor told me to pick her up every time she cried, that it would teach her security. She told me it wouldn't spoil her but oh was she wrong. Now she wants to be held all the time. I have tried to let her cry it out but she sometimes cries for 20 minutes at a time and I know that thier is nothing wrong with her. What should I do??

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Asked by KPlunk at 11:13 AM on Nov. 20, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (85)
  • I do not like the cry it out method. Please hold, cuddle, and love your baby. You have a very good doctor. They are not telling you a lie, holding your child DOES teach them security. I'm sorry but I do not, and will not ever believe that you can "spoil" a baby. Try attachment parenting.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 11:16 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • She's 4 months old. Her wants are her needs. She needs love. She's not spoiled, she's a baby.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 11:17 AM on Nov. 20, 2008


    Answer by babycakes254 at 11:22 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • She is not spoiled at this age they just really need loving time. It's a securtiy thing right now. Trust me take it now while she still want s to cuddle. If the habit continues past when she is able to walk then you might need to ween her from the clingyness. Until then enjoy the fact that she is so cuddly.

    Answer by bugandsmiles at 11:31 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i heard it is not possible to spoil a baby under the age of 9 months because they dont necessarily put 2 and 2 together yet like if i cry mommy will pick me up. at least thats what my doctor said, he also told me it is not good for the central nervous system of a baby under the age of 6 mos to cry it out. good luck!

    Answer by Kennadismom at 11:32 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • a baby can never be too spoiled! When our DD was born we never put her down...She was always held. Insead of leaving her in the carseat or stroller she was always in the sling against me or daddy. She is a baby and needs that love and security. Now my daughter is 2 and we can barely give her kisses without her running off! So please hold your baby 20 min. is too long to let her cry out.

    Answer by nicholelpb at 11:33 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I also do not believe in the Cry it out Method..I think it is really mean. My baby is not spoiled. And at 4 months old?? I believe that at 4 months old a baby does need to feel its mama holding it and loving it all the time!! However, I just want my son to feel as much love from myself and his father as possible!!

    Answer by CarieP at 11:35 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • But, oh your doctor was soooo right!!! There are a number of studies that even show the physiological benefits from loving and touching. You will even find studies that show the harm that CIO can and will cause. Do as all the above posters say and just hold and love your baby, you won't regret it. Get a sling, you will enjoy that too.

    Answer by angeladh82 at 11:38 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • The baby understands the differants between being held and not being held. That is spoiled in my book. Your just going to have to slowly get her use to not being held as much. Do you have a swing. That might help.


    Answer by louise2 at 11:39 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • At 4mo a baby does not have the capacity to understand cause and effect. She understands that she wants her mother's smell near her and that is a need. It is not spoiling her. Wanting to be held, is a need for her to be loved, and not spoiled....... do your own research.

    Answer by angeladh82 at 11:45 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

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