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Help please

How can I tell if my 4 year old daughter is depressed or actually sick or just faking? Every night when I tell her to go to bed she wants to talk about her papa and let me know she misses him. I told her she could talk to him but he wouldn't be able to answer her. Then she will go to bed and come back 5 minutes later telling me her tummy hurts and that she doesn't feel good. I give her a kiss and hug and she goes to bed. Usually that keeps her in bed. But in the morning it is almost the same thing, she tells me she is sick and doesn't feel good and that she misses her papa. After I get her up and she gets going she is ok. But it is the same routine every night and it is starting to get to me. She and her papa were extremely close the only time they were away from each other was when he was at work. He has been there for her since the day she was born up until he passed away in January. I just want to help her and do the right thing. .


Asked by Decker at 1:09 AM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 28 (35,417 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (2)
  • Oh, I am so sorry for your loss . . . I can't imagine what you are going through.

    When kids grieve, they tend to grieve through "physical symptoms", she probably is feeling a tummy ache . . . and it very well could be from the loss. It might help to get her into some counseling, if that is an option. There are also some really good books about kids and grieving . . .

    Something that also helps some kids is to have a bunch of mini pictures of the person they lost . . .they can carry them and whenever they want to remember the person, they can take out the picture. I love what you have been saying to her about talking to him.

    It sounds like you are giving her lots of love and hugs and stability, and that is the most helpful thing you could do.

    It probably will take some time for you both.

    Next time she has her well-child, bring up the tummy issue with her ped. They will likely also some suggestions. Hugs.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:46 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • ImaginationMama, what a great answer! Im so sorry for your loss hon. My step dd overdosed 2 weeks ago and the funeral is Monday. I thought what Imagination said was great here.

    Answer by beyondhopes at 2:11 AM on Feb. 27, 2011