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i have a24 yr old stepson he got out of jail 2weeks ago he will not get up to look for work he is lazy would it be wrong to give him a time limit to find a job and move outof our house

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needhelp170

Asked by needhelp170 at 6:50 PM on Jul. 8, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (11)
  • Duh, I misread question so let me start again. No you are not wrong. I think that's your job. 24 yr old needs to be on their own ASAP. Now.. Is your home considered his place of residence? Whe he was arrested or released did he give your address? If so to get him out you will likely have to give him a 30 day written notice of eviction...even if he's never paid a dime in rent. Hope it all works out.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:08 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • If I were you, I would consider requiring a list of places where he has applied (which I would verify...) in order to be let back into the house each and every day. I would not share food without work done in the house. I would not give money for ANY reason. Now is the time for some tough love.
    lawmom623

    Answer by lawmom623 at 8:01 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • no its not wrong. he's 24 and capable of getting a job doing something. probably wont be glamourous but what the hell, neither was wiping his butt but it had to be done and you did it. you no longer need to take care of him. he's a grown man.
    princezzmommie

    Answer by princezzmommie at 11:53 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • If he was parolled then getting a job is a requirement for NOT going back to jail. Does he has a parolle officer? If he does, then he should get off his but and look for work before the officer comes and see's him doing nothing and files a motion to get him put back in jail.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 12:45 AM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Not at all... I think that is your only solution. My 19 year old was informed, full time school or full time job.. she dropped out of school and then I gave her a month to find a full time job. She found it.. got her first check and found an apartment. She's been on her own for one year. I am so proud of her.... and she finally understands, it takes a lot to earn money!!!
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 12:38 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • Not at all! Be prepared to change the locks - in fact, I recommed it. Set a deadline and arrange for a locksmith to come on that day. If you already have the appointment, you are more likely to follow through with forcing him out.
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 1:48 PM on Jul. 9, 2008

  • I would certainly ask him what his plans are and set down the rule that if he doesn't contribute to the household then he cannot stay there. You mentioned Jail and not prison so am guessing he did his time in a jail (under a year) and doesn't require a parole officer like someone being released from prison (over a year sentence). However, if he was given probation in addition to his jail term you could see if employment is a condition of his probation. If he wasn't given probation then you will just have to set down the boundaries. he's not a child anymore and there is no need for him to be taken care of. However, I'm sure he knows it's not easy finding employment after incarceration. Maybe he needs help finding a place that won't reject him. Rejection sucks and many ppl are afraid to face it so they try to avoid the situation. maybe some friends or church members might know a place where they won't judge him for being in jail.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:39 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • NO YOUR NOT WRONG AT ALL. KEEP ME POSTED ON HOW THINGS ARE GOING.
    DOVE5397

    Answer by DOVE5397 at 8:55 AM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • No if you don't give him a reason to get up and going. You have to give tough love. Other wise he will be living with you for the rest of your life.
    Denkanay

    Answer by Denkanay at 11:44 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

  • Where is his other parent?
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 8:56 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

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