Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What in the world do you do with a rebellious 8 year old...whats wrong with them?

I have a hyper pre diagnosed with ADHD or something like that. Which I get! OK, your hyper, this is causing you to loose focus, not get jobs done, rush to complete something even if its wrong...etc. That we can work on. However, while we are working on the above, and I ask him to have a seat or I say something he doesn't like, he will give me attitude (facial expression) try to explain his way our of it or go sit down and start doing something annoying (like mumbling or tapping his shoes or humming.) If that was me, I probably would have lasted to see the next day, lol! However, I am not my mother.

Medication is not an option for me but I tell you, some days it looks better and better.

Truth be told, I really feel like he doesn't need medication, I need to figure out a way to get to him and have him really understand the consequences of his actions. He also thinks everything is a joke and play time is all day and night!

He is very smart, he knows how to manipulate and that's the thing the ticks me off. He can waste all this energy being obnoxious and rebellious, but when he wants something, he is sweet as pie...he still doesn't get it from me.

I am wondering if its my parenting skills, what in the world am I doing wrong?
I've disciplined, taken games and toys punishment and all sorts of stuff. It doesn't phase him, he will make up a game out of air and still play (I guess because he is an only child) Whatever the situation, whatever I do may only work for that moment but the next day he is back to his usual self. In some ways its unintentional and in others ways it is not!

Im running out of things to do! HELP!

Answer Question

Asked by websavvy1 at 6:30 AM on Feb. 27, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 8 (236 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Your not a bad Parent, its the ADHD, are you against meds for him? my son was recently diagnosed with ADHD also, i was against meds too but my Mom talked me into it and said why not try and see? If i don't like it then i can always take him off of them. Well i did try them and i saw a big difference in him, and even my son saw a difference, he told me that he likes taking them because he doesn't feel so crazy as he put it. he likes that he feels he has more control over hiis life.
    My son is 8 too, and i know what you mean about making a game up out of nothing, my son does the same thing. Most of what he is doing is the ADHD so do not feel like its your parenting skills. Good luck and really think about some meds on a trial basis.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 6:40 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I agree w/ jen4443. I have raised a son (he's almost 20 now) w/ ADHD! Let me tell you, you are in this for the long haul. Not everyone "outgrows" it. It requires a lot of patience & breaking tasks down into smaller segments. And for some, the medication is part of the tools needed to manage this. I know I was reluctant at first, & there was a dosage adjustment or 2 to get it right for him., but boy what a difference. It's not like giving a kid Nyquil to settle them down b/c you cant deal w/ them any more. It's about helping them function in school & in life. It frightens me that my son is a driving "statistic" b/c of his ADHD. (He rarely takes his meds now & he really should- he's very scattered) Talk to his Dr. & his teacher & school counselor if he has one. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:33 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • There are many therapists who work with people who have ADD/ADHD; they teach them not just coping skills, but how to use ADD/ADHD as an advantage in their lives. Thom Hartmann has written extensively on this topic; you should be able to find his books art your local library, there is lots of information at his website:
    You may also want to explore how foods affect behavior, either from the Feingold Organization ( ) or another source. We eat a "clean" diet; no processed foods, no chemical additives, no meat, very little dairy
    My daughter's attention issues were helped dramatically by fish oil supplements (though we have since switched her to hemp oil). It is important to use a good brand, like Nordic Naturals; it takes about 8 weeks to become effective. We recently discovered that magnesium supplements also help.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:37 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • OMG, I can so empathize with you. My son's diagnosis of ADHD inattention is not firm, but he exhibits a lot of the qualities. I regularly have conversations with my son about the fact that I'm his mother, I deserve his respect, cut the attitude, etc. But I have to say some of this behavior is age, exacerbated by ADHD.

    The mumbling, tapping, humming are just outlets for him - annoying as they are. I don't think there is anything wrong with your parenting. This is all incredibly frustrating and the way you're addressing the issues is right.

    For myself, I had to adjust my attitude toward my son and accept that behaviors I thought were just obnoxiousness or willfulness were, a lot of the time, outside his control. My son is going to fidget so we've substituted things like a stress ball for his usual fidgeting. Motivating them to want to do it is what is hard.

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 4:30 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I have a 7 year old with ADHD...and I found that spanking him (bare butt) works well even though people say not to. It has a lasting effect on his behavior.

    Answer by Iamasinglemom99 at 9:18 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • They are 8. Nothing is wrong with them. They are testing their boundaries. Take them outside more and let them burn off all that energy.

    Answer by TwilightMack at 11:24 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Ignore the annoying and praise the good. Talk to him until you're blue in the face about what is expected as far as behavior and actions.

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:29 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.