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How do you deal with a stepchild when the parents both try to outdo the other in spoiling her?

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Asked by Maria999 at 6:48 AM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (18 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • How do you fit into the mix?

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:51 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Just be yourselves as the child grows they will realize who is truly loving them...just do the best that you can and just go with it. It's hard.GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 6:53 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It's complicated. We just live together, and her mom lives a short drive down the road. I really want to be nice and giving. But I see way too much of that going on already. You know, it's a case of everyone trying to one up the other in who is the best parent. So I just kind of stay quiet and tread careful. But as for being able to do nice things for her, I just can't. She is getting the hang of playing one parent against the other.

    Comment by Maria999 (original poster) at 6:57 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • i would stay out of it. it is their daughter and their money that is buying her the gifts.

    Answer by gwen20 at 7:11 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It's too bad they dont spoil her w/ more time & activities, rather than an abundance of "stuff". I think this is normal for some people just fresh from a divorce or break-up. Hopefully it slows down. Maybe suggest to him that they both put some of the "spoil money" aside for college! (if you feel comfortable saying that some day)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:23 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Thanks to all of you. A special thanks to Butterfly, that really is all a person can do. :)

    Comment by Maria999 (original poster) at 8:21 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • agree with butterfly and make sure you have fair rules in your home that have to be honored. Be kind, fair, and loving. In the end the child will see your goodness.

    Answer by elizabr at 9:57 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Set up rules in your home, and forget the rest.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 12:35 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Oh thats tough. My sister is the product of two parents trying to one up each other. Honestly, just hanging back is probably the best thing to do. If you want to spend time with the child, then find easy things to do together, a movie, light shopping, just talking or playing outside.

    Answer by sparklebug86 at 3:37 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • The rules in ya'll home is for her father to decide not you. I would just be nice to her, beieve it or not, the "stuff" is gonna get old and she is gonna just want someone give their time, not money

    Answer by JLS2388 at 1:33 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

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