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Parents are alcoholics...not sure what to do?

Both of my parents are alcoholics and I feel something needs to be done about it. I feel that they are adults and can live their lives as they please but with that right comes consequences. Not only do they drink and drive but I don't want my child growing up with grandparents who drink so much. Anyway we're all really concerned but nobody has really stepped up and said anything so I was thinking about having them over and really be stern with them. I feel like they need some kind of wake up call. I want them to know that we all love them very much but we're all tired of it. My question is...is this a good idea? My husband thinks it won't do any good but something has to be done. I especially don't want to see them kill or injure someone while drinking and driving. If I do talk to them how should I go about it? Sorry so long but I really need some advice!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Nov. 20, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • My dad..alcholic....for over 50 years...he is the only one that can make the change..not you..
    I do not allow my children at my parents house if my dad is drunk..he knows that and so does my mother..as far as the driving while drunk..that has always scared me..but how can you control something that is out of your control??
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • My mom and her husband are both alcoholics. My mom doesn't see her granddaughter very often because she is always drinking. She acknowledges her problem but doesn't want to get help to stop. A mediation might work, it might not. They have to be willing to change. Good luck...I know how hard and hurtful it is.
    alysmommy0909

    Answer by alysmommy0909 at 12:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I really think you have to get hard with them and be like look you can't see your grandchild if yall do not stop drinking all the time. This will be really hard but I don't think just talking to them would help. Or maybe they to get them to go to an AA meeting. I really does work!!!
    Connersmom9956

    Answer by Connersmom9956 at 12:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • To Dannee- I know that I don't have control I just feel like maybe if I give them a "wake up call" that maybe they will consider quitting. My dad really wants to quit but my mom I think is in denial about having a problem. They both care about all us kids and their grandchildren very much so I thought maybe being stern and giving them kind of an ultimadem (sp) would help. If they don't want help and don't want to change then that's their right, but then I will feel a little better because I would have at least shared my feelings about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • There is no wake up call...my brother...drug addict..20 plus year..had multi million dollar business that fed my whole damn family....lost it.....lost everything...you can not do anything...
    they have to do it..........
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:10 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • To alysmommy0909 and Connersmom9956- Thanks for your advice :) I really think I need to not just sit and talk with them but to really put my foot down about it so they understand the gravity of it. Maybe I will suggest AA meetings.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • It weighs you down...I know...been there with my brother and I live it with my dad...it is so sad...
    I thought I could help my brother...when his business was falling I lent him money..
    It ended up either jail or rehap for my bro...he is now clean 2 years...trust me I understand..
    but once again you can talk until you are blue in the face...they have to want it....
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Wow...this is a tuff one for me to answer. Alcoholism is on both sides of my family. IMO all you can do is tell them you know their drinking is out of control and that you will not put yourself or your children in harms way any longer. Let them know that they will no longer be able to drive your children anywhere. You love parents but you don't have to like them. It's a shame when the kids are more responsible than the parents but you are an adult and therefore you have to look after your immediate family ~ you, your husband and children. You here about people hitting rock bottom and what the non-alcoholic thinks is pretty bad is sometimes not bad enough for the alcoholic. They will either make changes after talklng to them or hit their rock bottom soon or not at all. There's nothing YOU can do to change them but you can lay down your rules and stick to them. Good luck and HUGS!
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 12:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Hate to say it you are in denial.....just like them.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 12:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • To Dannee- Sorry about your brother...thanks for the advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

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