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Anal....TMI adult content

Ok, me and my s/o have discussed anal for about three months now. We have agreed to try it, I never have and he has once (I am told). One weekend we planned to do it, and before that weekend he told me on the phone "I can't wait for our promise this weekend." Our promise? That comment threw me for a loop because I have never heard it called that and we never did it that weekend. I don't understand how we keep talking about this, planning it and it NEVER happends. I wait for him to make the move for it and he doesn't. What is up??? We did try one time but didn't have much time before I had to go meet my ex with my kids. He comment that night was "I didn't think it would be that tight....we need more time." We have had the time, he just never attempts anything. I don't get it.
Is anal and intiment and you have to have that or you can't do it?? I would like to consider it somewhat intiment and it isn't something you just do with anyone. Don't know, confused I guess. I have tried to talk to him, and all I keep getting is, "oh yes we will be doing that soon."
It seems as though "soon" never comes......what is up with that?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:28 AM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:38 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • whats wrong with the other hole??? o.O

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • A lot of the guys I have known swore they would never do that cause it would make them feel gay, maybe he is having anxiety about that, or he is afraid of hurting you. Either way I would say something is definitely bothering about it.


    Answer by mommy-perks at 11:42 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It's one of those things that, while it seems like a good time, has such a social stigma attached to it that it can be hard being psychologically ready for it. I've done it before I was married but my husband never has. We've discussed it and it's not neccessarily something we can fully "plan" but realize it's something we both have to be ready for emotionally and physcially for it to happen. It is a VERY intimate experience, and, like sex, not always pleasurable the first time. I'd say just take a step back and don't feel pressure to "get it over with" so to speak. THe more relaxed you both are, the more you'll both enjoy it.

    Answer by eevers at 11:44 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • TBH, we've talked about it alot but when we plan it I end up chickening out. Its easier if you just tell him to just go with it and surprise you. Because if you're expecting it and you think about it and how painful it could be for you its a turn off.

    Answer by dreamcatcher13 at 11:49 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like he is just nervous. He might like the idea of it but then when the time comes, he doesn't really want to.

    Answer by Snewo at 11:37 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Well we tried that one time and it didn't work and that is when he kicked in with we will need more time. I don't know what to think.....

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Feb. 27, 2011


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I don't think of it being painful and I think of it as something intimate and different and nothing something I would just give away. It is him that doesn't go forward and I don't know why.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Could it be that the idea and fantasy surrounding it turn him on? Sometimes, people like to talk about stuff, role play, and fantasize, and it makes regular sex a lot more exciting for them. They don't really need to DO what they fantasize about, just play with the thought. He could be fine just sharing the fantasy, which can be really intimate, in itself.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:00 PM on Feb. 27, 2011