Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Small vent...am seeking guidance

For the past month I have been working 2 jobs, in order to create a buffer in our bills. Well, I also go to school full time. The reason we need a buffer is because my SO has major debt and it has just been faulting right and left. So me working and helping out more hasmade it possible for him to pay off a number of debts already.

Well I am ready to quit the newest job I have been working. Since I started that job I have done minimal HW in my classs and it is starting to show in my grades. Of course he doesn't want me to but I'm not benefitting much when you look at it in depth, he is. I have crystal clean credit. I don't have debt I can't afford, he does, I feel like he should have the second job, not me. What do you think?

Also, which is really just the icing on the freaking shit cake is last night after he got off work he didn't bother caling but left straight to his friends house, when I called his friend because I heard an old VM saying they were planning to hang out, my call got ignored. He came home at 4am.

So I kicked him out. I'm just done h0onestly. Don't know what to do. Everytime he hangs out wth this friend he acts as if he doesn't have a family, never calls, stays out all night, nothing.
When he came home I said that he obviously needs a break from his friend so he can relearn how to be a partner and a dad. Obviously if a friendship makes you be faulty to your family, then its not a positive friendship in my eyes.
He's still gone. I have no care tohave him back. The child support will allow me to pay our rent on time and I will be just fine. I'm just done

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Good Luck with everything. I agree that if the debt is his then maybe he should get a second job. If you think things can work out then I would talk to him and let him know how you feel. If you really are done then I would start setting things up to move on.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 12:11 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • from what i read HE has the debt. he should be paying off his debt. sounds like he is using you. i would get rid of him if i were u. he is dead weight.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 12:12 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • WOW r u kidding you dont need to be working like that!!!!! you are one strong women if i were you i would def. quit the second job. You dont need to be doing all that and he should def. be home helping wiht you doing all that!!! good luck to you
    kylansmommy09

    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 12:13 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Sounds like he wanted a free ride for you to pay the debt he created for himself and if you don't want him back I wouldn't pay it anymore he can handle it, he apparently could careless as long as he gets to play. I would be done as well, he needs to grow up. Good luck to you dear...many prayers to you.
    AmI88

    Answer by AmI88 at 12:15 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I think you guys should sit down and talk. Yes, I think that HE should be working more, since a lot of it is a problem that he has created, and I don't agree with him just going out with his friend without talking to you first. Counseling might be something you want to think about too IMO, but I'm not one that finds walking out on a relationship without a fight very easy. Hope you guys can work something out.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 12:19 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • If your mate does such things as: promises to call you but doesn't, lets you take responsibility for HIS irresponsibility, shows up late or plays games with your emotions, is inconsiderate of the effort you make, devalues you by putting his friends first; take note … these are clear cut warning signs that he DOES NOT value you, he DOES NOT love you and he DOES NOT care about you! Stop wasting your time with him ~ the woman in the mirror will thank you later.
    ShelbyShareAlot

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 12:21 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • good for u he was a very selfish man do u and finish your school

    good luck
    cnoble927

    Answer by cnoble927 at 12:25 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I think he should be paying off his own debt; good luck momma!!
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 12:37 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • so your having a second job and busting your butt to make the bills and plus go to school to better youself so that you can pay the bills and HIS debt while he gets to go do whatever he wants? how selfish of him! i think you did the right thing.
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 12:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I agree with the other mom's who commented, he definitely should be paying off his own debt. Why should you be working 2 jobs and letting your school work suffer for something you had no part in. You don't want to end up making mistakes paying for his mistakes if that makes sense. Tell him to pull up his freakin big boy pants and take care of his own crap.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 12:41 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Military wives...

Next question overall (Health)
Need to get motivated?

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN