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5 Bumps

Why am I always the bad person?

When dh and I get into a fight, he always makes me out to be the wrong one. Even if I'm just letting him know how I feel. I've even told him about making me feel like crap because it seems I am always the bad one. How do I let him know, that I hate being made out to be the bad person? That I'm sick of feeling like crap when I tell him how I feel....

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • My DH was raised that in everything, you find someone to blame. That's not a reason to call it quits - it's room to grow. If your dh wants to work toward a healthy and successful marriage, then talk to him and work on it together - it's growing and maturing together. When you do that, you build a strong foundation and are better individuals AND a stronger team.

    Something that I would tell my DH is that I'm not perfect and I'm wrong sometimes too but I'm NOT going to own his actions and everything that's going wrong isn't my issue - it's OUR issue. I'll own mine - he can own his.
    AAAMama

    Answer by AAAMama at 2:55 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I was told once that guilt is a valid feeling ONLY if you've done something wrong. So don't feel bad!
    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 1:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It's probably in how you are telling him. If you aren't careful, a husband will hear, whether you say it or not, that the way you feel is somehow his fault, and he's going to get defensive every single time. Try to avoid saying anything that has the pronoun "you" in it, and always make sure to use the pronoun "I." There are other things you could try too, but just this one little thing will probably make a big difference.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:33 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Some people are like that they are the ones who cant ever realize that they have done something wrong. Are you sure you want to continue with this relationship? You may want to think long & hard about that b/c you are not always the bad/wrong one in every situation. I call out my SO on it all the time & over time he has begun to stop twisting things around, I dont think he realized it though. Maybe your SO isnt realizing it either. You should think about how much more you will allow this to go on before yous ay enough is enough.
    Mel30248

    Answer by Mel30248 at 1:41 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • maybe you have the wrong guy.

    you could show him what you wrote here you haven't told him how you feel
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I feel the same way, my DH thinks he can never do any wrong and is always right
    Jssg1986

    Answer by Jssg1986 at 1:33 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • He' s manipulating you to lower your self esteem and allowing himself to stay in control of the relationship.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:02 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Just tell him how you feel what you is your own feelings just say them and let them go they are not wrong.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:13 PM on Feb. 27, 2011