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I'm I wrong to let my MIL's favortisim bother me?

My children are 10,8,4 my MIL has prob seen and spent time with my youngest 4 times not counting when we bring him to holidays or her just stopping by. My BIL has two children 4,1 who she has 5 days a week babysitting for them to work and then another time they ask for anything and at times she just goes over and picks the youngest up because she misses him after a few hours. Is it wrong to be bothered ny this when me and my DH are the ones she asks for money and help but doesn't have anything to do with our children and she lives 5 minutes away

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curciedanielle

Asked by curciedanielle at 1:37 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 8 (215 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • no, i know how that goes, my mil favors her daughters kids way more than mine and you can tell
    Jssg1986

    Answer by Jssg1986 at 1:40 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I'm sorry this is happening. it is so unfair. Do what you can to stop loaning her your hard earned money.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 1:47 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Talk to her. She may not know that it bothers you. And unfortunately MIL's are famous for this kind of stuff.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 1:48 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Ignore it! It happens all the time with a lot of people you cannot change her so just leave her be.
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I would stop giving her money. Tell her to go and ask the inlaws.....
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It's ad because I do say something and she changes her reason why dozens of times before we end up arguing then she stays away for a month or two till she needs something. She always favored my BIL(who is from her second marriage) as a child also over my DH (who is from first marriage) I try and let it go but my children are growing up and seeing it when they ask to spend the nite and she has an excuse but then they find out their cousins are there
    curciedanielle

    Comment by curciedanielle (original poster) at 1:54 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • No and yes. Stop giving her money. Let the ones she babysits for five days a week pay her or she can actually go get a paying job - or a job that pays more if they do pay her. If she asks why you can't pony up the money tell her you don't have it. Period. She can ask all the questions she wants but you can't get blood from a turnip. Don't make this about favorites. Invite her to see the kids, offer Zoe holidays and leave it at that. If she declines - no one should care. No need to start a war. Do be smart and quit letting a mooch take your money. Seeing as you don't have that free baby sitter save up so you can take your man out. Only time drama happens is when you let it. Don't let it.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 2:01 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • This was an issue with my MIL, too, and at first the obvious favoritism did make me angry, but then one day I realized that my MIL didn't care & the only person who was feeling hurt & upset was me. She wasn't worth the energy, kwim? DH & I talked about it & he stopped jumping everytime MIL called and eventually she started asking for help from DH's other brothers, whom she favored anyway, instead of us. MIL's visits reduced to just coming when invited directly & she never stayed long. We would visit her during holidays & always tried to arrange our visits to avoid DH's brother's families & left as soon as was polite.
    mom2aspclboy

    Answer by mom2aspclboy at 2:13 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I know it seems like she likes his children over yours but, it could be something else. Perhaps, she doesnt want to ask you incase you say "no"? My mom doesnt usually ask me if she can have our children for the day and I recently learned it was because I seem over protective of them and she respects that so she just wants for me to offer them up... Could it be something like that?
    sparklebug86

    Answer by sparklebug86 at 3:28 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

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