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Guilt...

So I am having a problem with letting my 6 month old daughter play on her own, or be away from me... I feel like I am neglecting her if I am not giving her undivided attention at all times. I know its irrational, but I still feel this way. I know she needs time to play by herself, and she enjoys it. Is anyone else going through this? Any tips?

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LovinMyMikayla

Asked by LovinMyMikayla at 12:38 PM on Nov. 20, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 2 (12 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I feel the sam eway as well on occation. I work 9 hours a day but also have an hour commute to and from work. So when i get home i dont want to do anything but spend the time with him, and at the same time i am exahsuted and also want to veg out on the couch for a little while.

    The few things i try is putting him in is baby space and sit down there and stretch (trying to be more healthy one day at a time) and when i am in the kitchen i have him in his Bumbo and talk to him.
    brannen

    Answer by brannen at 12:42 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • My son has always been good at playing by himself, I've just always let him do it, so I don't have any tips for you to start it now. But if it helps at all with the guilt, I read on MSNBC this week that the experts are saying that kids NEED free play time. Just time to use their imagination and figure things out on their own. So, you shouldn't feel guilty, just remember you are helping her by letting her play alone.
    chillemi78

    Answer by chillemi78 at 12:43 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i call it seperation anxiety. lol...i was the same way with my first born. i would not put her down and you would almost have to pry her outa my arms to get to hold her yourself. peeps said i was spoiling her i said i was loving her. but as she got older I had to let go a little and understand she is her own person. she is only four years now. but i remember the first time she held her own bottle i wanted to cry. as if she didnt need me anymore. so it is normal i call it seperations anxiety but instead of the kids having trouble it is us moms.lol. they are only that age once dont worry about it and enjoy it. soon you will here i can do it. or mommy im trying to play. lol.
    sweetestkitten

    Answer by sweetestkitten at 12:47 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • It is normal to want to spend time with your baby, but make sure that you let her play on her own too. Lay out a blanket and let her play while you sit next to her reading baby books. That way you are sort of interacting with her, and she has the opportunity to be independant.

    Babywearing is also awesome for both Mommy and baby... plenty of carriers last from birth to toddler, and I'd be lost without mine!
    risonski

    Answer by risonski at 12:59 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • oh sure! :) I have that all the time! Some nights my husband will put the kids to bed and I will go out to coffee with some mom friends from my boys' playgroup (which I am doing tonight actually!) and when I come home, I feel totally guilty for missing bedtime! lol I have to just sit in their rooms for a while and watch them sleep :)
    mum2gr8byz

    Answer by mum2gr8byz at 1:05 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i have totally felt the same way, many times! But as long as the little one is happy playing on her own, she's fine!! At this age, when they can sit up and everything, they start to become more interested in toys and it's fine to let her explore without you being all over her. It won't be long before she's clamoring for your attention again, so try not to feel guilty and enjoy a moment or two to yourself, while they last!
    And i second the recommendation for the baby carrier, mine saved my life!!! If you're wearing her, she's getting lots of mama-love from being close to you and also can look around at grown-up eye level and see what you're doing. Can't beat it.
    HeyKarin

    Answer by HeyKarin at 1:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I feel this way pretty much anytime I'm not holding him, even if he's perfectly content! It's just something we have to grow through, I guess. :)
    KatieCrandall

    Answer by KatieCrandall at 2:40 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I'm pretty sure 'guilt', is another definition for 'mother'. I know exactly what you mean, and I seriously have to FORCE myself to give Anabelle alone time. I just remind myself of the benefits, and then I feel a bit less guilty. Its extremely important for them to be able to play by themselves, and it also helps them build up an amazing imagination :) It's good for your baby, and when their three, and their not complete spoiled brats because the attention was always on them, i'm sure we'll thank ourselves for giving them that alone time. Try as hard as you can to not feel guilty!! Your doing your child a favor by giving them time to play by themselves.
    kate_jocelyn

    Answer by kate_jocelyn at 12:06 AM on Nov. 21, 2008

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