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2 Bumps

When a child has to deal with the loss of a loved one

I became a mom real young. I had my dd when I was 17. I lived with my mom and her dad left us, so relied on my mom. When my dd was two I met the love of my life and married him. He takes great care of me and my dd. My dd still wanted to go to my moms every weekend. She was so close to her grandma. Then when she was eight my mom died of a brain anerrisiom all of a sudden. It was hard on us all, but my daughter took it real hard. She tells me that shes praying to nanny every night. I do encourage her to but she misses my mom so much. I took her to counselors but she won't open up to them and if she won't talk about it then they can't help her. I want to help her. It's been almost three years and my little girl still won't talk about it and cries all the time. Even when things are happy, like Christmas... Now if you have grandchildren you might understand the closeness that they shared. My mom was is my best friend, but my daughter loved her grandma more then you can know. She spent all her free time she could at my mom's house. I've tried everything, It's a sour subject for my now eleven year old. Please help.

 
Kimberly71682

Asked by Kimberly71682 at 3:37 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (3,993 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • My mom passed away in 2007 after living with us for 9 years. My daughter was 9 when she passed away. It was sudden although she wasn't in the best of health we were not expecting her to pass away. My daughter took it very hard and wouldn't talk about her Nana until recently. She has had a few difficult days missing her Nana but would not really open up about it. I think it will just take time for your daughter to open up. She may not want to open up to you because she may not want to upset you. When she is ready to talk she will. Everyone had their own way of grieving and that includes kids. I am so sorry for your loss.
    jcm62497

    Answer by jcm62497 at 8:04 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • It can take a long time for someone to get over losing a loved one....especially one they were that close to. The best advice I can give, don't push her to open up..she might be still trying to figure things out,..when she's ready to talk she'll let you know..all you can do now is be there for her when she's down, and explain that even though grandma's not here, she's watching over dd everyday..comfort her when she cries, bring to light all the happy memories they/you all shared..try not to let her dwell on the death. I know it's hard,..my stepdad died 9 years ago, and it's still hard from time to time to this day..I never opened up to anyone about it. Good luck, seeing your child hurt is probably the worst pain ever. I'm sorry for your loss.
    mom_to_kenzie

    Answer by mom_to_kenzie at 3:44 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Kids r very sensitive. Give her time and understanding and of course love!! I am very sorry for your loss.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 3:40 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I am so sorry. Would it help to plant a small tree or flowering shrub in your yard in memory of her? Or write down both of your favorite memories of her in a journal? you two can share the journal or it can be hers.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:46 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Just love her, and let her grieve in her own way and her own time....Death is hard to process, especially at her age....but it is her reality...just be there for her....allow her to cry as much as she needs to....etc.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:16 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

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