Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How can I stop growing apart from my husband?

I have been going to college and learning a lot of new things my DH has never been to college and I feel like we are growing apart. I want so much in life, to travel to get a career going I feel so motivated and ready to see the world and he is just very comfortable sitting on the couch every night. Its really depressing and I'm at my wits end. He has no motivation and I feel like he's dimming my spirit.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Does he work? Maybe he's tired, comfortable sitting at home and relaxing? It's not that big of deal right now... I am assuming you still have school to finish? Don't get ahead of yourself... I am sure you're going to have the opportunity to do all you want, which by the way, GREAT JOB on your plans! Anyway, sit down and have a nice long talk with him... see where he is at with all this.

    Answer by m-avi at 4:07 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I like what avi said. Just start talking . .. maybe he'll get excited about something that is jazzing you!

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:17 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I think I would talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. Sometimes when we start learning new things we see the world differently, I think the key is to learn these new things while maintaining our lives. I would let him know about your dreams and see if he has any of his own. Maybe he feels the same as you and just doesn't know how to start the conversation.

    Good Luck!


    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 4:35 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It sounds like he may be depressed. When was the last time he had a complete physical?

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:02 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • If he is not depressed and is just happy with the status quot, many ppl are like that, then you both have to learn to meet in the middle. You need to except his need for simplicity and he has to except your need to grow and experience new. Like stay in one night, go out to try something new another like going to a poem reading etc. It's a good idea to look at the whole picture, the whole families needs and go from there. As always communication is key.


    Answer by mommy-perks at 6:10 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • You are the one who should inspire and multivate him~ Show him the new things you are getting exposed to ~learn together and find things you both are interested in and do it together. Encourage him at what he is good at so he doesn't feel down. All the best.

    Answer by sanab at 6:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I underatnd that you are learning and want to have someone educated.But you married a man that like the simple things in life. And you must try to make you work. If that is the worst thing stay with him .I'm single and if he does'nt cheat,beat you think twice before leaving.Good Luck. Take your time and really think what you want.

    Answer by Betutah at 12:47 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.