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2 Bumps

I'm a housewife and a mother of 2...

my first is almost three and my second is 6 months old. Being a mother is much easier than being a wife. My husband doesnt like to really talk to me, just regular stuff. he avoids emotional conversations because he worries about the way they'll end, not so well, as usual. when i make him have one, he always says, "thats why i never like to talk". but he can't be right. I regret alot in my life, not going to college , getting married early, things like that, he thinks when i never open up, its just nicer, quieter. but i feel choked up inside. I feel like my marriage/life is totally sugarcoated. What should I do, I don't even know what I want. just that i thought a husband would be more supportive, listen to me more. He avoids this sort of thing. Even sitting around with me, am I over reacting, I just feel like my marriage lacks life... so sad all the time.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • i feel the same way unfortunately. i LOVE motherhood, but hate being a wife. but with that said, i don't think that's how it's supposed to be. personally i would rather be a single mother to 3 than to have to take care of him and be ignored and under-appreciated.

    i would stop sugar coating if i were you and be more honest. it's tough but it'll bring the reality to the surface faster. you're either right for each other or you're not. but focus your energy on what you have control over, and that is being the best mother you can be to your wonderful children. good luck.
    juliness

    Answer by juliness at 4:20 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • You should look into counseling. You may have issues about yourself you need to work through. Just seeing you have so many regrets shows you have some things to work through. Another thing is marriage isnt all about the fun and exciting times. My husband and I can go awhile without talking about earth shattering things. He works, I stay home. I do the day to day things. Like just today I told him I am signing our dd up for a private cheer company that offers cheer, dance and gymnastics. He rolled his eyes, which means he doesnt like the idea. He wants her in softball, and shes in that too. I dont like that idea. The point is there are always going to be things we dont see eye to eye with, but we dont start a huge fight about them. We pick and choose our battles.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 4:31 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • sometimes i wonder the same thing.. i think that when you get so much love from your children.. as the constant care provider who is w/ them all the time.. you start to wonder why your hubby doesnt love you the same way. at least i do.. i feel like our life is all about kids and thats it.. maybe counseling will help him open up something that you havent been able to? if he would go! good luck!
    mohme2three

    Answer by mohme2three at 4:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I second the suggestion for couples counseling. The two of you need to relearn communication. If he won't go, please go yourself.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • So sorry for you ((hugs))) I think you know what you want though~"I don't even know what I want. just that i thought a husband would be more supportive, listen to me more" ~ Get counselling and talk about it instead of bottling it up~ if talking about it is not working write him a letter when something goes on and  have him respond. All the best.

    sanab

    Answer by sanab at 6:47 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Oh and i think you should get a job ( if you don't have one already), go out occasionally with friends with or without him. Some men are like that he start "noticing you".
    sanab

    Answer by sanab at 6:49 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I feel for you but you can go back to school or work and have your own money but talking is something as couple ne to do and start to make yourself happy and everything in place make your own money and that's freedom.Honestly your married but feel alone thats not good .I wish you good luck.
    Betutah

    Answer by Betutah at 12:41 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

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