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2 Bumps

Just not tell him, just in case?

I have been told by many and even cafemom that I need to move on. Since my lover is in Mexico, probably not make it back to the US and I cannot afford to fly there our only interaction is by phone once a week. That call I receive from him always makes me feel alive again. If I know i need to move on is it wrong for me to continue talking w/bf like nothing is wrong? Cause deep down I don't want to end it and maybe he will be back in two months. Or should I give him a deadline?


Asked by dmr73059 at 5:14 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (841 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Well Missy with this situation and our awful laws he may be gone a long time or never can come back. Try starting your life over with friends on chat lines, smile, laugh and if you meet someone who you think you might want to meet for coffee go for it. Your not married to this man and he has no ties or control over you so you need to make the decision what makes you happy.
    You can still talk to him or if you feel guilty wait the 2 months and see what happens and if he still cant get back across then you need to make you happy.
    Love hurts and life isn't fair but it's life. You have us here at Cafe Mom and you can email me personally if you want i will be there for you.....

    Answer by dusty1962 at 8:10 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • you can't put your life on hold. I would give him a time line. Not to be mean or demanding but to let him know that you *need* to move forward. You *need* to have the freedom to find someone who can be there for you. It doesn't have to be the end all, just a dead line saying on this day I will move on with my life. We can still talk but I will be open to see other people... and of course so would he.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:19 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • how long were u guys together for?

    Answer by Mxcxr16 at 5:19 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Why is he in Mexico??

    Answer by SuunshiineMama at 5:22 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • four years. and this guy , well so many things i love about him. loyal he is.

    Comment by dmr73059 (original poster) at 5:23 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • when is he saying he'll be back?

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 5:27 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • gv him a deadline

    Answer by smiley745 at 5:57 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Well since you didn't say why he is in mexico and how long he is been gone~ I cannot say much as to what decision you should take.

    Answer by sanab at 6:18 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • You have to decide if the relationship is worth it. Do you see yourself being with him for a long period, maybe even getting married? Because sure the relationship might be great now, but when he comes back are you going to want to continue that relationship? Is this "Feeling alive" feeling that you have just because it's something to look forward to, or is it actually because of him? You said you don't know when he'll be back, what if it's another year or two? Will talking to him once a week be enough for another year, maybe two? Is this relationship worth putting your life on hold? Those are questions that you have to answer for yourself. .. Sure it's cool now to have him as a boyfriend and getting to talk to him, but is it worth it in the long run?

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2011